TTC and considering

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by PerilousPoozer, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. PerilousPoozer

    PerilousPoozer Chicken

    Here's a thread for those of us thinking about babies or ttc. Have at it! (But no pictures of pee sticks allowed). :lol:
  2. virgo

    virgo Chicken

    bookgirl14 likes this.
  3. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Can I post here if I'm considering ... but also not? I just turned 29, and D is 34, and we're trying to decide if it's time to explore a more permanent prevention. I wonder if I would regret it. I LOVE kids — we both do — but neither of us have ever felt any real desire to have our own. We've always been on the same page about this, which is "maybe not ever, and definitely not now", but we've also both said, you know, maybe later. Lately we've been talking about possibly fostering. Fuck, I'm all over the place.
  4. redredrose

    redredrose Chicken

    I'm just popping in to say that my dad mentions grandkids with a hopeful tone, and I don't even have a boyfriend.
  5. PerilousPoozer

    PerilousPoozer Chicken

    Sure! I think that falls under considering.

    We know we want kids. I'm going to start getting off meds soon. I've recently been watching people with kids (sat next to an attitudinal teenager and family at lunch today) and sometimes I wonder if I can handle it.
  6. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    What about a vasectomy, Honey? Those are supposed to be reversible in case y'all change your minds.
  7. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    My dad has been doing that since he turned 50 (when I was 19). Back the eff up, Dad.
  8. PerilousPoozer

    PerilousPoozer Chicken

    My parents never pressured us, thank Jeff Goldblum. I don't think it's fair to do that.
  9. gimmeoatmeal

    gimmeoatmeal Chicken

    Just wanted to lend my support and listening ears, to all! Our daughter is eleven months old, and we've just started discussing #2. Throwing around a December 2014-March 2015 "start time". That is, if we don't reevaluate, before then, and decide to wait a little longer. I'm still torn.

    My dad says my daughter is growing up too fast, and he'd prefer I keep the house well stocked with little nuggets. :wink:
  10. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Probably a good idea, and I guess freezing sperm would be an option too. Our health insurance used to have really comprehensive family planning options, but I'm not sure about our new plan. I should look in to what they cover. Part of me also worries about getting off hormonal birth control for the first time in, fuck, so many years. I'm a goddamn monster when my periods aren't regulated.
  11. RubberDuckie

    RubberDuckie Chicken

    Now that we bought a house, we're considering trying at the end of next summer, I'm turning 28 and he's turning 31 this year. My sister is having another baby so I'll just enjoy hers for a while. It's nice to return my nephew once it's time to go. :cheers:
  12. owl

    owl Chicken

    I feel like I absolutely plan on having kids, but every time I think about actually doing it, all I can think is how much they'd inconvenience me. Am I terrible or ????
  13. RubberDuckie

    RubberDuckie Chicken

    Nope that's me too, unless we're both terrible!
  14. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Circumstances beyond our control have kept us from being able to do the deed during ovulation for a few months. I'm on an antibiotic now that I cannot drink on, and we are on vacation, so we have started a few conversations with "Fitz isn't pregnant. She can't drink"

    I mentioned to BIL that some pregnant women can choose to have the occasional adult beverage, to which he replied "He'll no! Don't hurt my little.. Grand... What would it be?"

    Nephew or niece. He couldn't remember. It was pretty cute.
  15. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    This could go into the superstition thread, too, but we don't like to talk about it outside of ourselves. Jinx and all that. Right now we're on hold until winter/spring. I'm sending on the active TTCers positive vibes!
  16. android

    android Founding Messiah

    No, because that is my exact line of thinking.
  17. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    No because this is how A and I feel too. We are like oh man kids for sure, but we could take a lot of vacations if we didn't...
  18. Magisterium

    Magisterium Chicken

    Honey, my fiancé and I do not want kids, and although we both agreed he will get a vasectomy once my IUD needs to be removed (3 years from now), we talked about the possibility of regretting our decision. We're 99,9% sure we do not envision our life with kids, but that tiny 0,01% still makes us wonder. What if he dies in a car accident a few years from now and I can't forgive myself for not having kids with him ? What if something happens and completely changs our views on life and how we wish to live ? Sure there is always adoption, but we felt such an important decision should come after considering all options (and also, we shouldn't take the fact that it's a ''reversible'' procedure for granted. It's not always the case). The discussion lead to the topic of freezing his sperm before he gets a vasectomy. We haven't decided yet, but it's worth considering it, because it might as well be the little detail that will make us completely at peace with this permanent decision.

    Edit: I should have read further down the topic.
  19. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    I will just throw out there for people on the fence that my Aunt and Unlce were CBC and in their 50s changed their minds and adopted so I feel like, to me anyway, you shouldn't worry too too much about regretting it because there is usually fostering/adopting later in life if you ever changed your minds but were too old to conceive biologically.
  20. redredrose

    redredrose Chicken

    I honestly would like kids someday, but that's probably a terrible idea.
  21. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    I've always been on the fence. From the time J and I had been together about a year, FIL has been asking about grandchildren. He has some, but they don't have his last name and that's apparently super important to him (he's really old fashioned, and I like the man, but I often get extremely frustrated with him). J often talks about how he feels like he's here because his dad wanted more kids with their last name since they weren't sure if J's older brother would ever marry. For the record, he did get married and have a child, but he legally changed his name and still doesn't have much to do with the family. Now FIL has been bringing up the fact that it's up to him (J) to carry on the family name… :roll:

    My family's never really put the pressure on. My mom says that I'll probably change my mind one day, but she doesn't push the issue.

    J and I both have moments where we're like, "ok, maybe we should have a kid" but those moments never last too long and for us, the cons of having a child greatly outweighs the pros. We're both 24, only been married 3 months, so neither of us feel the rush. J and I were discussing it the other night since my stepbrother and his wife announced their pregnancy, and neither of us feel old enough to have kids. It's weird. Sometimes we want them, sometimes we don't, and it's mostly because we like sleep and don't want to be inconvenienced by a child.
  22. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I love my niece and nephew, and love handing them back to their parents. We go back and forth but think we probably want kids. We also want to retire early and travel the world. Trying to make it all work. :)
  23. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    I have a one-year-old. I want another one really bad. We've been actively TTC (charting and the whole nine) since February (well, I started charting again in September, but we weren't trying at that point). I just really hate the whole process and find it completely stressful and defeating.

    I have some weirdness with my cycles that my doctors are looking into. I go in for most tests on Monday. If I'm not pregnant by September I'm going to freak the fuck out, because then my kids probably won't be two year apart in school -- they'll be three. For some reason, I give lots of shits about this.

    I'm pretty much a basket case all the time. I cannot wait never to have to do this again. Come on, universe, just one more healthy baby.
  24. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Tater my brother and I are 3.5 years apart. We fought when we were kids, but now we're best friends. We shared schools for a year (senior/freshman) in high school and college. I think it worked out especially well for him because I was there to show him the ropes and stick up for him when he was fresh but he had 3 years to be his own person, not my brother.
    I hope you get exactly what you want, just wanted to add that you're a good mom so your kids will be cool no matter how far apart we are.
  25. Janet Snakehole

    Janet Snakehole Chicken

    Yup, my husband just had his vasectomy 3 months ago and the doctor told us that for all intents and purposes the procedure was not reversible. There is a procedure to reverse a vasectomy but it's incredibly painful, very expensive, and only has a good success rate within the first 3 years.