Toddler wails. “What hurts?” Toddler grabs injured body part, which is just bumped and not really injured. “Would you like some placebo medicine?” (Sniffles) “Yeah.” I then pretend to apply medicine to the injury. “Did that help?” “Yeah.” At this point he usually stops crying and goes off on his merry way. In 20 years he can’t say I was lying to him.
Overheard really, but I bet the mom never thought she'd have to explain this. Kid: But why can't I buy it for Paulie?? Mom: It's nice to buy her gifts, but that is a cat toy. Paulie is a human, and you need to get her a toy for humans. ETA: Maybe Polly? But they both said it more like PAW-lee, which is extra funny given cat toy.
Things I never thought I’d type: A detailed email about the potty training process which included the sentence “He has very strong feelings about wearing green underpants”.
Not something I said, but something that I never thought I'd do. This morning I wiped yogurt off a balloon.
“That’s ok to do, we just generally want to do that when we’re by ourselves in our room.” I’ll let you all deduce on that one.
Fry is super into drapey fabric; it’s one of his soothing sensory things. I’m wearing a maxi maternity dress today, and the skirt is stretchy enough to accommodate a small child if I’m wearing it. “I’ve spent a significant part of the day walking around like one of those two person horse costumes.”