Things I never thought I'd say

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Rico Suave, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. user5076

    user5076 Chicken

    My pup is all about the extra food, and I think that’s the true bond he has with C right now. But! In this case it was a barely eaten Gogurt, and that thing had weight to it when it hit the floor, narrowly missing/scaring the crap out of him.
  2. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Aha totally different scenario! Glad you all escaped unscathed.
    user5076 likes this.
  3. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    "No, we don't play our sister like a drum."

    C wanted to practice percussion with his drumstick on Purple.
  4. allmaple

    allmaple Chicken

    To Sheldon: stop having sex with your sister!
    To J: don’t snap chat that!
    user5076 and Fitz like this.
  5. Social Piranha

    Social Piranha Potatoes

    Here's my fecal samples. sorry it took 3 days.
  6. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    What is this thread? I thought it was in The Hens' Nest because it was for things chickens never thought they would say to their kids. If you guys want it to be for every funnyish thing you utter, I’m moving it.
    A. Ham and megatron like this.
  7. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    “Make sure you keep it pointed down just in case any more pee comes out.”
  8. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “(Fry), if you don’t come back here you right now you don’t get ice cream and you don’t get to drive the Audi!”
    user4030, A. Ham, Honey and 1 other person like this.
  9. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    "Oh good boy, you're doing such a good job being gentle! Yes, pet Purple! NO WE DO NOT BITE THE DOGGIE."
  10. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    “P! Stop fighting with Siri!”
  11. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    ok we need this whole conversation.
  12. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Was this on the home pod? I ask because that Siri is completely fucking useless.
  13. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Nooo. She literally sits on the couch with her iPad and fights with Siri over the stupidest shit! The fight above was because the iPad is linked to my account so Siri knows my name. When P tells Siri that her name is P, Siri says something like "Okay A (me), I will call you P." P doesn't want her to say my name at all so she yells at her "STOP IT SIRI! I TOLD YOU MY NAME IS P! WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING!?"

    The most ridiculous fight she's had is when Siri didn't bring up the right "how to floss" video...

    ETA: She fights with Alexa too.
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
  14. JillofallTrades

    JillofallTrades Chicken

    Who hasn't fought with Alexa? :lol:
    Afishwish, Comet and Zombie Llama like this.
  15. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    Today I had to explain to a doctor that the reason a 13-year-old was on an oral contraceptive was because she was having sex.

    They still made me look up the original note in the chart.

    Spoiler: sex.
  16. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Was it a doubting you did your work situation or just surprised?
  17. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    She was just surprised. She tends a little more conservative (and also was having a really hard time with a pronoun switch for one of our trans patients).

    Like, friend, you are on a child psych inpatient unit. A 13-year-old having sex isn't even the most shocking thing of the last 5 minutes.
  18. LouiseBelcher

    LouiseBelcher spampants

    It doesn't even surprise me anymore when docs/residents show exactly how sheltered/conservative they are. It's like they expect families to fit into this same little box of upper middle class/white/straight/christian. Sometimes they find out that a patient is sexually active at a fairly young age and they want to ignore it instead of making sure that there has been a discussion about birth control. That's how we get teen parents, doc.
    April Ludgate, shakespeer and HBC like this.
  19. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    “C you have to eat more than lima beans”
  20. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    “Well do you want the peanut bar that I licked?”
    -After he started crying and rejected the only snack I had with us. He ate it. I did not lick it.

    “Well do you want the special hotdog shaped sausage? How about if I put taco meat on it?”
    -After he insisted he too wanted a sausage, NOT a hotdog. He ate the hotdog and the leftover taco meat (with ketchup and mustard :sick: )
    user4030 likes this.
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Hey! I pooped and didn't want to die!
    shiba shake, Rico Suave, Fitz and 8 others like this.
  22. unicorn

    unicorn Moderator Staff Member

    I appreciate my SIL. o_O
  23. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    “I know, it’s so awful when mama won’t let you play with the dog’s vomit.”
  24. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    For context, Fry often congratulates himself on being “so genius”.

    “Genius is curing cancer. It’s not running away from cleaning up crayons.”
  25. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “You have a choice. You can be happy patient or sad patient.”

    It doesn’t work. The response is always “NO patient!!”. That doesn’t stop it from being my new motto.
    April Ludgate and user4058 like this.