Shit Roosters Say

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    P: we should get matching robes.
    Me: we have robes though, like nice ones.
    P: I know, but it's time. I think we should have matching ones.

    I guess he's decided to go all in and make this relationship robe official.
     
  2. virgo

    virgo Chicken

  3. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “I feel like we should make a nominal effort to make sure your mom’s alive every week. Not huge, just nominal.”
     
    Honey likes this.
  4. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Can he check on my dad while he’s at it? One less thing on my plate.
     
  5. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    It might be a refreshing change to keep tabs on a different type of dysfunctional parent.

    To clarify, the context here was that I should try to get in touch with my mom less. We try to contact her daily as she lives alone and has health issues, and on the rare instance she responds she talks only about herself. Rooster’s pretty sick of her shit.
     
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  6. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    New plan. My dad and your mom can check on each other, and we can keep each other accountable to only answering a minority percentage of their phone calls.
     
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  7. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I think this could work for about a week, and we’d have to give a generous radius to the destruction they’d leave in their wake.
     
    Honey likes this.
  8. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “I don’t know if I like it, but we need something to spice up our lives during covid.”
    This was regarding our purchase of a robot vacuum.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2021
    Vespidae, Lh718, virgo and 2 others like this.
  9. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    “She just did the Resse Witherspoon pop and drop or whatever it is!”

    He meant the bend and snap. :lol:
     
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  10. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    "I can't even get to the kitchen in 10 seconds!" after watching the women's 100M.
     
  11. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Minnow was hungry and staring at me.
    “Her eyes are up here, Minnow!”
     
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  12. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  13. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    J: I saw on the news some clips from the Fred Durst trial
    Me: huh? What’s he on trial for?
    J: I think one of his murders
    Me: One of them? How many are there?
    J: (confused look)
    Me: The Limp Bizkit guy?
    J: Oh my Jeff Goldblum, did I say Fred? ROBERT Durst, the HBO series we watched where they caught him on a hot mic! (The Jinx)
    Me: Ok, that makes way more sense, I was confused that the Limp Bizkit guy murdered people because they just had a show.

    :lol::lol:
     
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  14. virgo

    virgo Chicken

  15. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Lots of dead spirits and eardrums at Limp Bizkit shows, but I don’t think any murders. At least not since that one Woodstock.
     
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  16. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  17. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Girl I hate your font so much :lol:
     
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