Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.
That’s aspirational, really.
Bagging pumped milk for the freezer.
D: Oh, this one is still warm.
Me: Yeah it just came out of my right boob.
D: So it tastes all right?
Me: Do you like my new shirt?
J: Yeah. You look like a sexy picnic table.
It’s a buffalo plaid off the shoulder long sleeve shirt.
J asked me if it’s like 10pm because it feels late. It was 7:40. Then he asked if we had dinner yet, we did. We didn’t even put the left overs away yet. This time change is not treating him well.
To his class this morning:
So that is the value of nu. From now on, any time someone asks you "what's new?" you can tell them, "it's c over lambda!"
Watching Bridezillas: “Arguably, this is one of the better male strippers we’ve seen on this show!”
Jeff Goldblum I love Bridezillas.
Damn it! I left my phone behind at work!
Proceeds to.walk from recliner to work desk. Pauses to give me big shit eating grin then picks up phone.
Me yesterday: I recommend starting an IRA and putting in the max starting amount with that windfall then putting in the max monthlies.
P: grunts noncommittally
P today after talking to his brother: I should probably open an IRA with that windfall.
Me, gritting my teeth: yeah, and defo use as much of the inheritance as possible to open it.
P: well you know, they put limits on that kinda thing and the monthly deposits.
Me: stares in ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Rooster (in an impressed tone): “Woah, that’s a man poop!”
Fry: “What did you call it?”
R: “A man poop?”
F: “No, what did you call it yesterday?”
R: “Sorry, I don’t remember what I called your poop yesterday.”
"We were like 2 hot dogs at a 7/11" - J complaining about how much we were rolling around last night trying to fall asleep.
I’m glad you clarified that it was related to rolling around to fall asleep. I was concerned there for a moment where this was going
I figured it was one that would need clarification when I wrote it out and didn’t have the falling asleep part!
“I now do defensive diaper changes.”
We often dilute juice for Fry.
Fry: “This tastes more like limeade than the other one.”
Rooster: “This morning he got a homeopathic version of limeade.”
We have a smart light in the Fresno bedroom. Every time P turns it off with his phone, I ooo and aah and say, "Magic!"
We have bedside lamps in Hayward. Tonight, he turned his off and ooo-ed and aah-ed and said, "Muggle!"
I bought Girl Scot cookies yesterday and got more than I should have. I put a couple boxes in the pantry, and put a couple in a cabinet I knew nobody else would ever look in.
Rooster took one look at me and said “How many boxes did you buy and how many locations are they in?”
I have been craving thin mints for months, but I don't know if girl scouts is such a thing here. I'm sure I've never seen one. I literally found a recipe to make my own fml
The Keebler grasshopper cookies are similar (if they’re still a thing.)
I've never heard of those but I'll look for them next time I do groceries. Thanks @Imabug1002!
I Googled and they don't look familiar, so I don't know if I can find them. But they definitely look good so fingers crossed.
...... why are they named after insects? They're not shaped or anything.
Idk. Isn’t there a drink too?
Here Aldi also has some that are just as good and 1/4 the price.
edit - never mind. Apparently they have been discontinued.