Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.
Well the second statement proves the first.
Hahaha so I told him I posted that here:
Wait! Nooo! You're only supposed to post when I'm being funny, not stupid.
We were hiking and passed a fit remarkably attractive blond couple with a toddler.
“It’s like looking in a mirror.”
P lives in this thread apparently.
"I was listening to Pandora, and a song came on that immediately made me think of you."
"It was a Jackson Browne song about breaking up with his girlfriend."
Nothing he said but in the past two weeks I had to teach B how to react to an iMessage and how to send a GIF.
That makes me really sad for all the pithy remarks he has missed in the pat.
Quarantine has resulted in too much trashy tv.
N, watching Project Runway: “they made them go to the runway to tell them that? Couldn’t they have just sent Tyra Mail?”
The Baby Center app has a feature where you can post a “Bumpie”.
The only entry is a 14 week shot of rooster’s remarkably hairy belly. I did not do this.
You know what's worse than getting so fucked up on bath salts that you chew someone's face off?
Sitting next to the guy who gets that fucked up on bath salts.
True story. Know a guy who got fucked up by a dude on bath salts.
I got a maternity shirt with a stylized bird print on it. I was pretty happy with it, then....
“Is that the Lufthansa logo?”
No, but damnit they look similar. He now calls it the Lufthansa shirt.
LOL. But don't worry, I had to google so I think you're ok if you're out and about
Awwww I like the Lufthansa logo
“Oh my Jeff Goldblum, that’s a man poop! How does that even fit in you?”
I think he’s proud of his son.
Just now: “I’m still thinking about Fry’s poop. That was enormous.”
I'm not above potty humor so this had me chuckling
Men and their poops. Name a more iconic duo.
Not rooster, but my dad:
“It’s good to try things you didn’t like before, just to confirm you hate it.”
Me every time I try cooking with eggplant.
Our neighbor’s cocker spaniel puppy was in our front yard and we were giving her belly rubs.
Rooster: “That’s her tail!”
She has a docked tail, so I understand the confusion, but...it wasn’t her tail.
He learned something about dog anatomy today.
Background, my little brother feel on the stairs at his apartment and cut his hand very badly on the beer bottles he was carrying. He needed several stitches and it isn’t healing great.
He just responded to the family group text when someone asked how he was doing “It's taking forever to heal cause the dr said when he took the stitches out there was "an astounding amount of Mac n cheese dust" in the wound.“
I’m honestly not sure if he is joking or not. Probably not knowing him.
That’s aspirational, really.
Bagging pumped milk for the freezer.
D: Oh, this one is still warm.
Me: Yeah it just came out of my right boob.
D: So it tastes all right?