Shit Roosters Say

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    Yeahhhh C-rex will find me in our room and say "one, two, FEEEEE!" because he wants me to toss him on the bed lol. And everytime I say "ok, last time..." he pops right up with "on-a more?"
     
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  2. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Our friends got us a Harry and David gift basket.
    P: I don't know who Harry and David are.

    After unpacking it all and getting to the bottom layer...
    P: pears? That's random.
     
    Fitz, shakespeer and Afishwish like this.
  3. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Well the second statement proves the first.
     
  4. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Hahaha so I told him I posted that here:
    Wait! Nooo! You're only supposed to post when I'm being funny, not stupid.
     
    Erie, Fitz, Afishwish and 8 others like this.
  5. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    We were hiking and passed a fit remarkably attractive blond couple with a toddler.

    “It’s like looking in a mirror.”
     
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  6. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    P lives in this thread apparently.

    "I was listening to Pandora, and a song came on that immediately made me think of you."
    :loveu:
    "It was a Jackson Browne song about breaking up with his girlfriend."
    :bored:
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2020
  7. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Nothing he said but in the past two weeks I had to teach B how to react to an iMessage and how to send a GIF.
     
  8. MagnificentCat

    MagnificentCat Chicken

    That makes me really sad for all the pithy remarks he has missed in the pat.
     
  9. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Quarantine has resulted in too much trashy tv.

    N, watching Project Runway: “they made them go to the runway to tell them that? Couldn’t they have just sent Tyra Mail?”
     
    Fitz, Afishwish, calicat and 4 others like this.
  10. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    The Baby Center app has a feature where you can post a “Bumpie”.

    The only entry is a 14 week shot of rooster’s remarkably hairy belly. I did not do this.
     
  11. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  12. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    You know what's worse than getting so fucked up on bath salts that you chew someone's face off?

    Sitting next to the guy who gets that fucked up on bath salts.
     
  13. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    True story. Know a guy who got fucked up by a dude on bath salts.
     
  14. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Yikes.
     
  15. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I got a maternity shirt with a stylized bird print on it. I was pretty happy with it, then....
    “Is that the Lufthansa logo?”
    No, but damnit they look similar. He now calls it the Lufthansa shirt.
     
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  16. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    LOL. But don't worry, I had to google so I think you're ok if you're out and about :)
     
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  17. calicat

    calicat Queen of the Eggs

    Awwww I like the Lufthansa logo
     
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  18. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “Oh my Jeff Goldblum, that’s a man poop! How does that even fit in you?”

    I think he’s proud of his son.
     
  19. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Just now: “I’m still thinking about Fry’s poop. That was enormous.”
     
  20. calicat

    calicat Queen of the Eggs

    I'm not above potty humor so this had me chuckling
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Men and their poops. Name a more iconic duo.
     
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  22. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Not rooster, but my dad:
    “It’s good to try things you didn’t like before, just to confirm you hate it.”
     
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  23. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Me every time I try cooking with eggplant.
     
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  24. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Our neighbor’s cocker spaniel puppy was in our front yard and we were giving her belly rubs.
    Rooster: “That’s her tail!”
    She has a docked tail, so I understand the confusion, but...it wasn’t her tail.
    He learned something about dog anatomy today.
     
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  25. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Background, my little brother feel on the stairs at his apartment and cut his hand very badly on the beer bottles he was carrying. He needed several stitches and it isn’t healing great.

    He just responded to the family group text when someone asked how he was doing “It's taking forever to heal cause the dr said when he took the stitches out there was "an astounding amount of Mac n cheese dust" in the wound.“

    I’m honestly not sure if he is joking or not. :lol: Probably not knowing him.
     
    Aw Pigley, virgo, megatron and 3 others like this.