Shit Roosters Say

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    "What are those pants with the built in suspenders called?"

    Y'all, he was going for overalls.
     
    user4058, virgo, Fitz and 9 others like this.
  2. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    “You have to stop listening to that song, your accent is out of control”
     
  3. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    This morning when my alarm went off:

    P: HUH?!? Oh, but...I dont know what's going on?
    Me: ssshhh it's okay. Go back to sleep.
    P: pfft, you say that NOW! zzzzzz
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  4. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    “How many people do you think pretended not to understand the This is America music video last year but said black lives matter in the last 7 days”
     
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  5. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    "How do you take a shower without using your hands?"

    :eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow:

    "You always wash your hands after."

    And that's how P learned about retinol.
     
    user4058 likes this.
  6. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Snuggling in bed.
    J: You smell good.
    Me: Thanks :loveu:
    J: Like pencils
    Me: :?::eyebrow:
     
  7. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  8. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I was steamed about the foolish risk my dad and aunt are taking going to my cousin’s wedding.
    “I mean, I talked your dad out of joining an MLM today. Your expectations are still too high.”
     
  9. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Watching America’s Next Top Model

    N: what is baby phat?
    Me: a 2000s clothing company
    N: but if it’s for babies why is it on here
     
    CJ, RoryGilmore, Lh718 and 4 others like this.
  10. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    A was doing the dishes and asked if I wanted tea. I said yes. He came back ten minutes later and said "sorry, did you want tea or not?"
    Me: yes please
    Ten minutes after that he walked past me and went upstairs one cup of tea in hand :lol: He is having a day.
     
  11. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    J still balances his checkbook and has been off for several weeks and couldn't figure it out. He finally sat down and went through EVERYthing and his calcuations.
    J: "Well, it would be helpful if I would ADD in my paychecks!"
    Me: Have you been debiting them?
    J: Apparently.
    Me: This is why you can't be the banker in Monopoly.

    :lol:
     
  12. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    We put together big kid beds for the boys today. They can be single or bunked.

    Me: "shouldn't we find the instructions that are for the single beds?"

    P: "I'm pretty sure I won't get to the end and say Oh shit, I made a bunk bed."

    Yeah, he was right.
     
  13. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

  14. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    But what if you want room for activities
     
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  15. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    We're going to bunk them eventually. Right now that would definitely result in at least 1 ER visit :lol:.
     
    HBC likes this.
  16. Aw Pigley

    Aw Pigley Chicken

    Ordering pizza

    "Did you get emotionless delivery?"

    He meant contactless delivery
     
    MagnificentCat, moose, Fitz and 16 others like this.
  17. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Amazon’s working on it.
     
  18. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    J, trying to make "you snooze, you lose' work in the past tense: You snost, you lost.
     
    Comet, shiba shake, Erie and 13 others like this.
  19. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Afishwish likes this.
  20. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Well, we found the 1 Amazon driver that actually follows the deliver instructions. Everyone else seems to treat it like a paper route and just chuck it out the window on the way by...
     
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  21. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    “What kind of dog lets a cat eat their food, Lucy Bear? What kind of dog??” :lol:
     
  22. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    This morning he said something along the lines of “Hey Fish, look at this thing I’m going to do that’s a TERRIBLE idea!”

    He then picked (38 pound) Fry up by the feet and swung him in a high enough arc that Fry would clear the bed and land on the mattress. Fry thought it was the most awesome thing ever. From a biomechanical standpoint,
    it was very much in the “not awesome” category.

    Surprise of surprises, rooster’s back hurts now.
     
  23. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    I don’t even know if this is rational but I get so so nervous about anyone picking L up by the arms, grabbing a leg, etc. (Obviously just playfully!) I’m in the background going TORSO ONLY!!!!!
     
    CJ likes this.
  24. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I’m a stickler about picking up kids by the arms because of their shoulders, I don’t know how bad picking them up by the feet is. So far it’s only harmed rooster.
     
  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Also now Fry knows it is an option and will bug Rooster with "Again! Again!"

    Or maybe that's just B & C.
     
    user4058 likes this.