Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Honey, Mar 8, 2016.
Right?? They must have missed out on preschool and it shows
“Because ‘ducking’ isn’t a word either!!”
Talking about a dog—“Well her name is Beth but I think we’re gonna rename her Mildred after my grandmother”
Haha my friend threatened to name his dog after his MIL so he could say "Barbara, don't shit on the carpet!" I wonder if something similar is at play here.
A child outside our window was sobbing and saying something incomprehensible.
His mother: And now you can see why I've cut out sweets.
Little boy (sobbing): But I want an ice cream!
His father: Well, you're not having one, mate.
We've been saying "Well, youre not having one, mate" all day
Where was that man when I went on my 5:30 cafeteria adventure
Taking candy from a baby
Goddammit they’re supposed to keep the peds floor locked
Two people in the waiting room with me (talking across me, which is its own ugh)
Preg lady 1: And I told her don’t say “don’t beat me!” in public! They’ll take you away’! I just poked her!
Preg lady 2: I KNOW THATS RIGHT! I’d beat her ass for puttin on a show! Give you somethin to cry about
Preg lady 1: YES GURL
At Target Optical.
Worker 1: So do you think there are aliens there?"
Worker 2: Naw man, I told you what I think. I think that in the 1950's Aleister Crowley, and that guy who started scientology, what was his name? Anyway, I think they opened a portal there to another dimension. And Aleister died before he could come back and close it. That's when they shut it down for Area 51. So I don't think it's little green men but I do think it's more like interdimensional.
Worker 2: <notices me> Betcha didn't know you were going to get conspiracy theories with your eye appointment today did you?
Plot twist: you already knew they were going to be talking conspiracy theories
Now I'm thinking a lot about whether Aleister Crowley could have tolerated L. Ron Hubbard. I bet they were frenemies at best.
Extra plot twist: I'm an alien.
Dimensional or otherwise?
Of the Doctor Who variety.
I'm hungry and that made me think of smores.
Mother to her 4 sons, all tormenting each other: Remember, it is MY birthday week.
Me as a mom
She lost all the fucks she ever gave 3 kids ago.
The guy behind me at the IKEA checkout lane (at 9pm) was complaining that he was going to be late for his date. He stopped to buy clean sheets.
He then proceeded to tell me he was going to gobble me up. I pointed at S and told him he would have a problem with that.
Why are men so gross?
That's gross. WTF