Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Honey, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. user63

    user63 Chicken

    Right?? They must have missed out on preschool and it shows :lol:
  2. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    “Because ‘ducking’ isn’t a word either!!”
    Fitz, Lh718 and BigFatGoalie like this.
  3. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Zombie Llama and user3728 like this.
  4. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    Talking about a dog—“Well her name is Beth but I think we’re gonna rename her Mildred after my grandmother”
    user4030, Comet, user63 and 1 other person like this.
  5. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Haha my friend threatened to name his dog after his MIL so he could say "Barbara, don't shit on the carpet!" I wonder if something similar is at play here.
    LouiseBelcher, user4030, Fitz and 2 others like this.
  6. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    A child outside our window was sobbing and saying something incomprehensible.

    His mother: And now you can see why I've cut out sweets.
    hallokween, CJ, android and 3 others like this.
  7. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Little boy (sobbing): But I want an ice cream!
    His father: Well, you're not having one, mate.

    We've been saying "Well, youre not having one, mate" all day :lol:
  8. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    Where was that man when I went on my 5:30 cafeteria adventure
    A. Ham and user3728 like this.
  9. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Taking candy from a baby
    CJ, A. Ham, user4030 and 4 others like this.
  10. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    Goddammit they’re supposed to keep the peds floor locked
    user4058 and Fitz like this.
  11. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    Two people in the waiting room with me (talking across me, which is its own ugh)

    Preg lady 1: And I told her don’t say “don’t beat me!” in public! They’ll take you away’! I just poked her!

    Preg lady 2: I KNOW THATS RIGHT! I’d beat her ass for puttin on a show! Give you somethin to cry about

    Preg lady 1: YES GURL

  12. HBC

    HBC Chicken

  13. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    At Target Optical.
    Worker 1: So do you think there are aliens there?"
    Worker 2: Naw man, I told you what I think. I think that in the 1950's Aleister Crowley, and that guy who started scientology, what was his name? Anyway, I think they opened a portal there to another dimension. And Aleister died before he could come back and close it. That's when they shut it down for Area 51. So I don't think it's little green men but I do think it's more like interdimensional.
    Worker 2: <notices me> Betcha didn't know you were going to get conspiracy theories with your eye appointment today did you?
    Lh718, virgo, user4030 and 5 others like this.
  14. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Plot twist: you already knew they were going to be talking conspiracy theories
    user63 and user4058 like this.
  15. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Now I'm thinking a lot about whether Aleister Crowley could have tolerated L. Ron Hubbard. I bet they were frenemies at best.
    hallokween and user4058 like this.
  16. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    Extra plot twist: I'm an alien.
    user4030, user5076, megatron and 4 others like this.
  17. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Dimensional or otherwise?
  18. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    Of the Doctor Who variety.
  19. LouiseBelcher

    LouiseBelcher spampants

    I'm hungry and that made me think of smores.
    user4058 likes this.
  20. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Mother to her 4 sons, all tormenting each other: Remember, it is MY birthday week.
    HBC, April Ludgate, Afishwish and 7 others like this.
  21. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Me as a mom :lol:
    HBC, user4058, Fitz and 1 other person like this.
  22. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    She lost all the fucks she ever gave 3 kids ago.
    HBC, A. Ham and April Ludgate like this.
  23. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    The guy behind me at the IKEA checkout lane (at 9pm) was complaining that he was going to be late for his date. He stopped to buy clean sheets.

    He then proceeded to tell me he was going to gobble me up. I pointed at S and told him he would have a problem with that.

    Why are men so gross?
  24. user4030

    user4030 Chicken

    Ewwww. Sorry.
    user4092, user3695 and Zombie Llama like this.
  25. virgo

    virgo Chicken

    That's gross. WTF
    Zombie Llama likes this.