Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Honey, Mar 8, 2016.
I miss the days when you could challenge a stranger to a duel
I mean I have fantasized about doing both but never at the same time
At an order-at-the-counter Mexican restaurant:
Ordering man asks annoying questions about how many things he should order
Worker-“Dude I have no idea how much you can eat.”
Caller on sports radio: team is really doing poorly against good pitchers. They're hard to hit!
In a lingerie section where two women are with their boyfriends.
Women are discussing having trouble finding their sizes and one picks up a top.
Woman to her friend: I don’t know, i think it’s gonna be too big in the band.
Woman’s boyfriend: what? It’s gonna be too small. You know what size you are? Size big titty.
..... go home gf he doesn’t deserve you or that lingerie.
Sports are killing it today.
Announcer for baseball game: [Pitcher] is a year older. [Team] really needs to do something about that.
Like what, dude?
@Lh718 I loooooooove snarking on sports commentary. The terrible announcers truly are terrible.
Saturday a sports announcer was referring to "an irresistible force and an immovable object". Yeah that's not how the saying goes and I don't think his version is applicable to football...
In baggage claim...
Girl: I don't like you. You don't listen to me.
Dad: I listen to you.
Girl: I don't like you. You won't let me touch it.
Dad: I don't like you touching everything.
Girl: I don't like you.
Dad: Go ahead and touch it. It's dirty. And it might chop off your finger.
Dad: Touch it.
Girl: I don't want to touch it.
Dad: go ahead and touch it.
Dad’s the kind of parent I aspire to be.
I am sitting at a brewery getting some work done. Two super SUPER high guys are sitting a couple seats down from me.
Guy 1: “I didn’t think you could make tomatoes more disgusting. Have you ever seen a canned tomato?”
Guy 2: “Noooooo what?? A canned tomato? What?”
1: “Yes! They look like tiny shriveled bloody balls.”
OMJG one of them ordered Doritos. Way to mask this real well guys.
They keep breaking down into giggles to the point they are laying on the bar. This is so entertaining.
“Which shirts are the selected for $15?”
(They are looking for the women’s unicorn tank top to buy for a [male] friend)
Who’s never heard of canned tomatoes? Lol wth
Imagine how their minds will be blown when they learn about narwhals and dire wolves.
In line at Target checkout: obviously the little boy (3-5yo) lost whatever fight he had had with his mom. He was curled up in the shopping cart just whimpering over and over in the saddest, quiet voice, "Mooooooommy. Mommy. Muh-uh-uh-mmyyyyy."
It was breaking my heart, and I shared a pouty smile with the mom who just shook her head trying not to laugh (in a good natured way).
Just heard a lady use the term “immaculated” instead of “acclimated.”
Woman "and why do they call them anteaters?"
Man "because they eat ants..."
Woman "oh really!?"
Obvious news is obvious.
Looking at the turtles in Turtle Pond
Woman "oh, they swim!"
Man "yeah, *something inaudible."
Woman "I know, but I always see them on the log."
And this is a different couple
Man: did you know 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck? I just found this out!
I bet he didn’t understand the effect of the shutdown on federal employees either. Jerk.
Wow A&O zoo goers are clearly not our best and brightest.