Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Honey, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I miss the days when you could challenge a stranger to a duel
    shiba shake, virgo, Erie and 11 others like this.
  2. user217

    user217 Chicken

    I mean I have fantasized about doing both but never at the same time :lol:
    user4058 likes this.
  3. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    At an order-at-the-counter Mexican restaurant:

    Ordering man asks annoying questions about how many things he should order

    Worker-“Dude I have no idea how much you can eat.”
    Afishwish, amonavis, virgo and 10 others like this.
  4. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Caller on sports radio: team is really doing poorly against good pitchers. They're hard to hit!
    Fitz and Pickles like this.
  5. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    In a lingerie section where two women are with their boyfriends.

    Women are discussing having trouble finding their sizes and one picks up a top.

    Woman to her friend: I don’t know, i think it’s gonna be too big in the band.

    Woman’s boyfriend: what? It’s gonna be too small. You know what size you are? Size big titty.

    ..... go home gf he doesn’t deserve you or that lingerie.
    April Ludgate, virgo and megatron like this.
  6. HBC

    HBC Chicken

  7. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Sports are killing it today.

    Announcer for baseball game: [Pitcher] is a year older. [Team] really needs to do something about that.

    Like what, dude?
    virgo, user4058, Canaligator and 2 others like this.
  8. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    @Lh718 I loooooooove snarking on sports commentary. The terrible announcers truly are terrible.
  9. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    Saturday a sports announcer was referring to "an irresistible force and an immovable object". Yeah that's not how the saying goes and I don't think his version is applicable to football...
  10. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

  11. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    In baggage claim...

    Girl: I don't like you. You don't listen to me.
    Dad: I listen to you.
    Girl: I don't like you. You won't let me touch it.
    Dad: I don't like you touching everything.
    Girl: I don't like you.
    Dad: Go ahead and touch it. It's dirty. And it might chop off your finger.
    Dad: Touch it.
    Girl: I don't want to touch it.
    Dad: go ahead and touch it.
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2019
  12. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Dad’s the kind of parent I aspire to be.
    Zombie Llama likes this.
  13. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    I am sitting at a brewery getting some work done. Two super SUPER high guys are sitting a couple seats down from me.

    Guy 1: “I didn’t think you could make tomatoes more disgusting. Have you ever seen a canned tomato?”
    Guy 2: “Noooooo what?? A canned tomato? What?”
    1: “Yes! They look like tiny shriveled bloody balls.”
    virgo, Afishwish, Lh718 and 1 other person like this.
  14. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    OMJG one of them ordered Doritos. Way to mask this real well guys.

    They keep breaking down into giggles to the point they are laying on the bar. This is so entertaining.
  15. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    “Which shirts are the selected for $15?”

    (They are looking for the women’s unicorn tank top to buy for a [male] friend)
    Afishwish likes this.
  16. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    Who’s never heard of canned tomatoes? Lol wth
    A. Ham, Honey, Canaligator and 2 others like this.
  17. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Imagine how their minds will be blown when they learn about narwhals and dire wolves.
  18. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    In line at Target checkout: obviously the little boy (3-5yo) lost whatever fight he had had with his mom. He was curled up in the shopping cart just whimpering over and over in the saddest, quiet voice, "Mooooooommy. Mommy. Muh-uh-uh-mmyyyyy."

    It was breaking my heart, and I shared a pouty smile with the mom who just shook her head trying not to laugh (in a good natured way).
  19. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Just heard a lady use the term “immaculated” instead of “acclimated.” :lol:
    DaleBrennan, Roo, Erie and 2 others like this.
  20. user63

    user63 Chicken

    Woman "and why do they call them anteaters?"
    Man "because they eat ants..."
    Woman "oh really!?"

    Obvious news is obvious.
    Afishwish, April Ludgate, Roo and 3 others like this.
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  22. user63

    user63 Chicken

    Looking at the turtles in Turtle Pond

    Woman "oh, they swim!"

    Man "yeah, *something inaudible."

    Woman "I know, but I always see them on the log."

    And this is a different couple :bored:
    Afishwish, user4058 and Fitz like this.
  23. Chevere

    Chevere Chicken

    At Target
    Man: did you know 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck? I just found this out!
  24. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    I bet he didn’t understand the effect of the shutdown on federal employees either. Jerk.
    April Ludgate and DaleBrennan like this.
  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Wow A&O zoo goers are clearly not our best and brightest.
    Afishwish, user4058 and user63 like this.