Mine has just generally been more of an asshole the older he gets, but the hangry does really fuck with them.
This is one of those parenting days where my only consolation is that at least he’s not vivisecting animals.
A few months ago, A was hitting us and other kids at day home more often, and we kept trying to relate back to Daniel Tiger’s “It’s ok to feel angry. It’s not, not, not ok to hurt someone.” And she would say this too, so we were trying to reinforce it. One day she says that and then pauses and says “But I like to hurt people.” So that’s great
My in-laws told me a couple days ago (when I was mid-tears and REALLY done), that I let him run the house too much and I’m doing an 80% good job of parenting him. Today I was getting ready and they were taking care of him. He flipped out during a game they were playing, and watching them helplessly flail was a Pyrrhic victory. They got to deal with the tantrum and hear him try to micro lawyer his way out of consequences. I, Parent-Who-Engages-Him-Too-Much, was the one dishing out consequences and giving them Do Not Engage orders.
I’m glad my ILs say that shit in a language I can’t understand because I’m old enough to not give a fuck anymore. I stopped her mid sentence a couple times last time she was here. Sorry yours were sucks (autocorrect dicks* but I’ll take it). Hopefully they’ve recognized their hubris and come to apologize.
JFC @Afishwish . Fuck them so hard for that bullshit. I guarantee they had lots of times feeling like 80% was way too high an ask for them. I am livid for you.
They felt really bad when they saw how upset I was, and to their credit you can have a discussion on this stuff with them, which puts them way ahead of my parents. I think they are realizing that they are out of their depth with him when it comes to his challenging behaviors. Complicating this is the fact that FIL takes Fry’s acting out VERY personally. Socially emotionally the kid is about 3, which is easy to forget because he’s big and really smart. Plus I think they disregard the ASD element a lot. Unfortunately he’s been a jerk to grandpa. My FIL has kidney cancer which is very slow growing, but he is very wrapped up in his own mortality right now, and therefore is extra hurt by Fry’s behavior. FIL then either interacts less with the kid or is antagonistic, which is not helping matters.
Grandparents seem to think either they can fix anything and everything or their is nothing wrong with their precious grandchildren. I’m glad they’re human and at least willing to own up to being awful on occasion. I’m sure that, like us, you have a great care team of actual experts educated and with experience in their field who’s parenting advice is tailored to your child that you listen to much more than even the most well intentioned of grandparents. (Good Jeff Goldblum that was a sentence)