Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. user63

    user63 Chicken

  2. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    3/4 of the way through Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
    “Where’s Luke Skywalker?”
     
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  3. user63

    user63 Chicken

    Me, overhearing something on TV the kids were watching

    Me: [my name!]
    D: That's your name!
    Me: yeah! Do you know daddy's name?
    D: No
    Me: [J]
    D: I don't like that name. Only your name. And S's name.
    Me: Oh. What about your name?
    D: Do you like that name?
    Me: Of course. I picked it for you.
    D: Oh, ok.
    Me: Can you like daddy's name too?
    D: {rolls eyes and throws his head back} "oh alriiight."

    ok Mr. Threenager.....
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2020
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  4. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    S was jumping around being a general mess. I said something to my mom about something we did before he was born.

    "Mommy and daddy used to go places and do fun stuff. *pause* *crazed giggles* AND THEN THEY HAD KIDS!!!
     
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  5. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    We are having tortellini as part of dinner.

    Me: what kind of noodles are we having?
    A: Teeny weenie!
     
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  6. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    Randomly as I’m tucking her into bed:
    “Dada’s Day is all done you tell me ‘bout MY day now”
     
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  7. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Grab life by the horns, lil one
     
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  8. nym711

    nym711 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

    S walked in with a button up shirt on. E looked at him and said, "Daddy cute!"
     
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  9. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Rooster was on his phone and ignoring Fry.
    (Crossing arms) “You have five seconds to put the phone away. Five...four...fwee...two...one.” Mom scowl ensued.

    It worked.
     
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  10. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Upon seeing my newly-painted nails, "Hey! Dad! Mommy painted herself!"
     
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  11. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    “Me hear the rain in my dreams Mama!”
     
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  12. user63

    user63 Chicken

    "D, when the doctor checks your heart on Monday, are you going to close your eyes and think of something happy?"

    "No, I want to cry."
     
  13. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Me every day of this pandemic tbh
     
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  14. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    While I sprayed her with bug spray:

    E: “The bugs are hungry!”
    Me: “Uhhh well—“
    E: “Hungry for ME!”

    :oops:
     
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  15. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    The toddler stream of consciousness narrative is wild.

    "I need to find my goggles. The Big Bad Wolf is going to play the guitar. I have two firetrucks!"
     
  16. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I’ve heard weirder spoken word.
     
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  17. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Me when I get woken up while I’m on Ambien.
     
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  18. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Just showed this to W and he said “pretty close!” :lol:
     
  19. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    S: that wasn't a woodpecker, it was my fart.

    I laughed because I'm 12.
     
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  20. user4350

    user4350 Chicken

    “Why do grownups put permanent markers in their mouths when they need to think of good ideas?”

    Someone please answer, this was apparently so pressing she needed to charge into the bathroom to ask me because it just couldn’t wait any longer.
     
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Because using different parts of your body activates different parts of your brain and gets more brain power going.

    Also

    Sometimes people have a tough time putting enough focus on the problem. By using a small distraction like pen in mouth or a fidget spinner helps the brain focus better.
     
    Fitz likes this.
  22. user4350

    user4350 Chicken

    Follow up today after she was colouring and came to show me a picture:

    me: why is there green all around your mouth?
    E: I needed an idea

    At least it’s just Crayola and not a Sharpie
     
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  23. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    We all knew where this was going. :lol:
     
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  24. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    Me: What do you want for lunch, pizza?
    A: Nooooo, I don’t want pizza!
    Me: Well what do you want to have?
    A: I want...TOFU!

    :lol: whose child is this?!
     
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  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    "Everyone has gin."