Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    P: Did you know that when you take a shower you’re washing kisses off? That’s why I don’t like taking showers.

    Sure, P, sure. This is a kiss free zone at the moment so I’m not sure why she thought I’d fall for that logic :lol:
  2. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I accidentally left a blank on the blackboard where we write out our daily schedule. It was 12:00 and that was the time slot I’d left blank. Fry wanted to watch his show, and I told him no, it’s 12 and lunch time. So he wrote the name of his favorite show in the blank slot. It was pretty reasonably legible.
    “We have to watch Leave it to Beavers fwom twelve to twelve firty because that’s what it says on the schedule.”
  3. user63

    user63 Chicken

    I hope you let him watch it cuz you can't argue with that.
    user4058, user4092, CoolWife and 7 others like this.
  4. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Did not capitulate to 12, but you must understand that Leave it to Beavers was already on the schedule for 12:30.

    Points for cleverness, though.
    hallokween, nym711, HBC and 9 others like this.
  5. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    Deciding what to have for a snack:

    Little A (LA): I want the tangled ones!
    Me: the what? Tangled ones? I don’t know what those are.
    LA: give me crackers right now!
    A (dad): oh do you mean triscuits?
    LA: yeah!
    A: They are tangled crackers! Good word usage!
  6. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    A lies down on the floor next to her brother. She turns away from him and farts in his face.
    I’m laughing because LOL

    Me: did you just fart in S’s face?
    A: yes it’s funny! (Laughs)
    Me, laughing: yes, but it’s rude! You shouldn’t fart in anyone’s face.

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  7. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    S (Standing on the bike path, on the verge of a tantrum): we either stay here alllll night, or we ride to the gym. WHICH OPTION DO YOU CHOOSE?
    user217, Fitz, CoolWife and 3 others like this.
  8. user4350

    user4350 Chicken

    E: where’s my destruction paper?
    Rooster: you mean construction paper
    E: no, I mean destruction paper
  9. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    C: I hurt my Uber!
    Me: your Uber? Are you sure?
    C: yes! (Points to elbow) My Uber!
    Afishwish, Lh718, user217 and 8 others like this.
  10. user4350

    user4350 Chicken

    Whenever Baby Shark gets to the part where all the sharks run away, M does this little little scream to indicate he's running away. He did it a bit early in the song this time.

    Rooster: Running away already, huh?
    Me, muttering under my breath: I wish I could run away right now
    E: Well, you can't. We're TRAPPED here. Forever.
    Afishwish, Lh718, user217 and 22 others like this.
  11. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    Too real, E.
    Afishwish and user4807 like this.
  12. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C1: Mom, you have really big, um, these. *pats my breasts*
    Me: Uh..
    C1: Yeah, because they’re full of milk!!
    Me: Oh, yup, you’re right.
  13. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    E had a lot of thoughts first thing this morning: “Baby brudder like strawberries”, “baby brudder pee in his diaper and that’s okay”, “baby brudder needs to come out now”, and “baby brudder have blue eyes and yellow hair like E”.
  14. hallokween

    hallokween Chicken

    E, for the second time, accidentally touched K's junk through his shorts and yelled "daddy, you have poopoos in your diaper!"
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
    Afishwish, CJ, user4058 and 14 others like this.
  15. user63

    user63 Chicken

  16. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    Hahahahaha :lol::lol::lol:
    hallokween likes this.
  17. HBC

    HBC Chicken

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  18. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Showed B a pic of @Comet 's C, calling him "One of the Chickens' kids"; my C at the table with us.

    C: Wanna see it
    I show him the picture.
    C: No, wanna see chicken!
  19. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    SIL and BIL joined the beginning of J's birthday webchat with Nephew. He was apparently really confused because he thought it was a call to sing Happy Birthday to J. When they got off the phone, he was upset because no one sang to J and he was sad for him. <3
  20. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    J did a 90 minute crib nap this morning, a recoed for him. We bring him down stairs and are all excited telling him what a good job he did.

    C: “We are proud of you tiny baby!”
  21. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Me, butchering the lyrics of footloose: C’s working so hard! He’s driving his car!
    C: no! I’m not a car! I’m a child!
    B laughs from the kitchen
    C: no! Don’t laugh!
    Me: but you’re so delicious!
    C: no! I’m not food!
  22. user4350

    user4350 Chicken

    E: Can you sing me the bumblebee song?
    Me: I don’t know all the words to that one
    E: What! But I’ve teached you a thousand times! Alright, alright, I’ll sing it to you one more time
  23. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    E stories never fail to crack me up.
  24. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    Me: “You’re so sweet”
    E: “No not sweet I’m E!”
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  25. user4092

    user4092 Chicken

    E saw me take a sip out of a coke can (unusual, as I always use a glass)

    “A beeeeeeeeer?????”

    Afishwish, user217, user4917 and 4 others like this.