Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Because they do and reminder they are always listening. :lol:

    In the car:
    2yo: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. MOMMY!
    Me: Son('s name). Son. Son. Son. SON.
    2yo: MOMMY.
    Me: Son.
    2yo. Mommy. I'm right here.

    Upon seeing two quarters:
    2yo: I need money for dinosaur.
    Me: Fine.
    2yo. I need more money.
    Me: :lol: Me too.
    2yo: I need animal crackers.
    Me: What do you need more?
    2yo: I need more money.... may I please have animal crackers?
    megatron, virgo, Rico Suave and 16 others like this.
  2. user63

    user63 Chicken

    We were watching America's Got Talent and S says to me "I want to be on that show." At first I thought she meant in the audience but she says "I know some songs. I can sing. And I know my name" because the judges always ask the contestants their name before they start :lol:

    I have also been binge watching Fixer Upper and the other day she was playing and I heard her say "Lets see your fixer upper!"
  3. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Me, to a kid at work chewing gum: if you want your Prince Charming back, you need to spit out your gum first

    Kid: *spits gum directly into my lap* Charming please.
  4. Snarchitect

    Snarchitect Chicken

    I love these kinds of stories. Keep them coming!
  5. user217

    user217 Chicken

    I can't wait for this. The only good one I have now is after every bath, G gets out and has to do a lap naked around the house, and I have to go "get" him. He always ends up hiding behind the couch. So I tried the ole counting "one, two, three..." to get him to come out & it totally backfired.

    Me: One
    Him: TWO, FREE, FO
    megatron, Pickles, virgo and 17 others like this.
  6. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    P will be a frequent flyer in this thread.

    Me: How was school? Were you good?
    P: Yeah. _____ got in trouble though cause he said the goldfish were crappy
    Me: Yeah that's not a nice word
    P: *whispering in the backseat* They were crappy.
  7. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    OMJG I want to hang out with P. A and I are really laughing over this one.
    Rico Suave and user4917 like this.
  8. android

    android Founding Messiah

    I love this thread
  9. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    P might be my favorite child I haven't met <3
  10. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I'mma teach C to say "Screw you chickens, I'm the best." :lol:
  11. user4260

    user4260 Chicken

    O isn't talking yet, but when B and I are being silly we do the Arsenio Hall arm pump and "ooh ooh ooh." O copies it now and it is fucking hilarious.
    Afishwish, TaterTot, virgo and 10 others like this.
  12. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    He dances to Boobs in California. O is the bomb.
    Snack Queen, A. Ham, user4260 and 3 others like this.
  13. user4260

    user4260 Chicken

    This is true too. :lol:
    user3728 likes this.
  14. android

    android Founding Messiah

  15. user63

    user63 Chicken

    I nannied for a little girl and my favorite thing she ever said was "fire toothpick" when she didn't know the word for match. And S called her elbow her "arm knees" :lol:

    Edit: and clock was one of her early words she said, but it totally came out as cock.
  16. My little sister's first word was "Hemi" because my stepdad thought she'd be a million times cuter saying that than the kid in a commercial was. He wasn't wrong.
    user4058, user217 and user63 like this.
  17. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Saw a kid at work who was obsessed with clocks, but he could only say cock.

    "Look at that huge cock!!! Look, a tiny cock!"
    Afishwish, user4030, Zoomzoom and 5 others like this.
  18. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    My friend's two year old was riding his older sis (his horse). As they turned to leave the room, he waved at us and yelled out, "bye, bye! I'm going to Africa."
  19. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Last night reading a book about friends:
    Me: "Do you have friends you play with at school?"
    2yo: "Yes"
    Me: "Who are your friends at school?"
    2yo: "Um. A. (Girl next door, who is not in his classroom)"
    Me: "Yeah, she's your friend. Do you have other friends at school?"
    2yo: "Mr N." (Her dad)
    Me: "Yeah he's a good guy to play with too. Who do you play with at school?"
    2yo: "I eat popsicles!"
  20. user4058

    user4058 Chicken

    S calls ladybugs "babybugs." I'm not correcting him.
    Pickles, user4092, Rico Suave and 9 others like this.
  21. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    One night after a bath, Fry went scrambling off in a turbocrawl, butt naked.
    Me, doing my best Mel Gibson: "Freedom!"
    Baby: *primal scream*
  22. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    At this wedding, waiting for it to start and the benches were a bit crowded so some of us sat on the ledge on the side (perfectly fine place to sit but was a side view, not an issue really), the three year old boy next to me shouted out

    "Why did they not get enough chairs??"
  23. user3728

    user3728 Chicken

    Get that kid a WeddingBee login stat.
    Snack Queen, user4350, Comet and 13 others like this.
  24. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    WB response: This is why all weddings should be child-free.
  25. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Hahaha! I'm so glad there were kids there, the little toddler boys were wearing kilts and it was adorable. One baby boy and he was wearing tartan trousers. I died.