Kid's Birthday Parties

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Feb 23, 2016.

  1. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C is about to turn one. Holy Shit.

    I don't know what I want to do about a party. My parents are very much "he's one, who cares?" and D's parents are very much "when is the party what can we do we'll plan everything around it?!" On one hand I don't want to subject my friends and family to anything like that because I've always hated kids' parties. On the other hand, now it's payback time. All those assholes can buy my kid some stupid toys for all the shit I got their kids.

    What do I dooooooo?
  2. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    We did our immediate families only for the first year. We just wanted him comfortable and happy and we wanted the photos we did take of him to be of him in his most natural state, not bewildered by a big crowd and strange faces/voices. Total 180 for his second birthday, though. He grew into a very social, talkative, engaging little boy, and he definitely wanted our/his friends there (we didn't invite anyone who didn't have kids, though). We also said "Your presence is his present, so please no presents." He wants for nothing and we don't need more clutter in the house . . . nor do we want to raise a little emperor. (His grandparents are already giving him enough of a complex on that front.)

    We plan to do the same for M, I think. Though she'd definitely do better with a big crowd than J would've at one year.

    In our circle of friends, historically we haven't had big parties as a group for our kids, so there's no one I was like "Well, we're definitely inviting them because we suffered through all of their bullshit!"

    Also, we have yet to do a theme. Fuck that. The theme is "birthday party." You have party food and cake and balloons and kiddie crafts and goodie bags and let the kids go nuts. That's all that's required.
    android likes this.
  3. user4030

    user4030 Chicken

    My niece had her 1 year a few months ago. We weren't able to go, but the pics are adorable. It was pretty small and at a park, but it did have a theme: Ducks. Because she loves ducks.

    Autocorrect tried to change that to Dick's...
  4. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I need friends like yours. I like my friends, and their kids, but I don't want to sit around for 3 hours watching them play with new toys and making small talk with their aunt.

    C needs nothing either. But there are things I'd like to get him, since he doesn't have a lot of age appropriate toys. It's the stupidest thing to whine about, and I realize what a brat I sound like, but he gets no good gifts. My parents have no moneys, which I 100% understand and I'd rather they spend time with him. But my brother just never gets anything, though I buy SUCH good gifts for his girls. D's parents and brother are terrible at getting gifts. Like, really bad. Which isn't helped by D just telling them "don't get anything, or get something he needs." So we get shitty rice cereal by the case and whatever TJMaxx has in his size.

    This helps, thanks.
  5. pinacolada

    pinacolada Chicken

    You could just do a big adult party where C just happens to be there for all/part of it. My first birthday (near Christmas) was a Hot Toddy party. I was there in the beginning, got some presents and then went to bed (there was also a private party with the grandparents & my cake earlier in the day). My sister's first birthday was an outdoor barbecue, where my dad's band played and the cops got called because we were being loud.

    I don't remember either of these events, but I've seen video and they looked like a blast!
    android likes this.
  6. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Part of my problem is no one is local. My family is a 2 or 4 hour drive away, his family at least a 2 hour drive away. If I don't want them getting hotels, leaving early, or trying to stay with us, it'd have to be mid-afternoon.

    This would be easier if he was born closer to his due date and I knew the weather would be nicer, I'd just fire up the grill and throw some chairs on the deck.
  7. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    When else would it be, though? J was still taking two naps a day (assume M will be, too), so the only time that made sense to have his party was after his afternoon nap. So like 3-5 or 3-6. We did the same thing for his second birthday because we didn't want our friends with kids to have to leave for naps or try to put them down in PnPs at our house while a party was going on. Basically, we didn't want naps to thwart a good time, if there was one to be had.
  8. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C's naps are all over the place. At daycare he takes cat naps, then comes home and crashes. Weekends he does take 2 long naps, but if I let him sleep in he'd stay up later no problem.
  9. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    Girrrrrl. Tell day care to get those naps under control. 9:30-10:45. 1-3. That's the nap code crack. You heard it here first.
    android, Honey and CoolWife like this.
  10. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Tater, I had to re-read "total 180" like 3 times because I thought you invited 180 people to the party in total. Then I realized this isn't the bee and you're not that crazy. You just meant it was very different. #readingcomprehensionfail
    April Ludgate and TaterTot like this.
  11. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    They just let babies sleep whenever. They think he does awesome because they aren't here to see his normal 2-3 hr naps. He'll be golden once he gets into the toddler room.
  12. antisocialite

    antisocialite Chicken

    The first birthdays Ive been to have all been for us to drink, eat, and hang out more so than the kiddo. We bring a gift, usually clothes or a small toy that the parent needs.
  13. BigFatGoalie

    BigFatGoalie Chicken

    Most first birthdays tend to be small in my circle. Immediate family and low-key. Go bigger when he's awake more.
  14. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    @CoolWife, I didn't even see the post above the post about no one being local. That's tough! I know it seems silly to be like wahhh, buy my baby things, but a useful, appropriate gift really is so appreciated. If I feel like someone is going to make a questionable choice, I will suggest books.
  15. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I made him an Amazon wish list that's 80% books, college tuition, and a couple toys, but I'm hesitant to share it with anyone.
  16. user4807

    user4807 Chicken

    We just did M's party and it was only our immediate families. My family is the same as yours @CoolWife, they didn't understand why a 1 year old needs a birthday party. We didn't do a theme because honestly, that just would have been for me and I didn't care enough.
    CoolWife likes this.
  17. antisocialite

    antisocialite Chicken

    CW, I keep a "wish list" just so I remember stuff I'm considering or may give as a gift idea. If people ask, I will give them the link, but otherwise keep it quiet.

    How do people feel about putting 529s (or other college tuition) on lists for babies? I really hate honeyfund/gofundme/etc at weddings but I somehow feel that's a little different, but maybe I'm biased. Clothes, books, toys are all awesome, but college money is far more useful (compound interest!!). That said we only tell our immediate families about the 529 option either way.

    I think we'll do a first birthday but it will be small, maybe a cookout and drinks with a few friends.
  18. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    I know a couple who sent their child's Amazon wish list out with the invites for the first and second birthday parties. Rubbed me the wrong way.
  19. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I put the link for his 529 on his wish list. :) My brother said "college is on you, I'll buy him cute shit."
  20. April Ludgate

    April Ludgate Chicken

    I just went to my best friend's baby's first birthday party and it was really fun. They had pizza, beer, and wine and everyone just hung out. Her nieces and nephews just ran around in the yard. It was more like a party that her baby just happened to be at and he got a lot of cake.
  21. user3695

    user3695 Chicken

    Yea I wouldn't side eye a 529 being on a general list as an option at all. However, if it was mentioned seperately on a card or requested as the preferential gift then it just seems like "give us cash, because we won't appreciate anything else."

    Eta: What I mean is a siuation like this:
    My SIL said at a family gathering when her shower came up as a topic "while we have a registry we would really like everyone to consider a honeyfund donation instead or in addition! It is an experience and so much more special! You get a picture!" Everyone gave her a dirty look.
  22. Glen Coco

    Glen Coco Chicken

    My nephew's 1st birthday this is this weekend. He has a ton of toys and books, so I was planning on giving cash towards his college fund. Is there something else I should be considering?
  23. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    Re: the college fund. If you're going to do it yearly, it might make sense to open a 529 college savings plan for him so you can also deduct it from your taxes...just figured I'd throw it out there!
    Glen Coco likes this.
  24. Glen Coco

    Glen Coco Chicken

    That's a good idea. I was thinking cash because my sister is a type A control freak especially with finances (she's very self aware of this fact though), but I was unaware of the tax benefit.
  25. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    Our financial advisor talked about them to us this week when I mentioned wanting to help contribute to future nieces' and nephews' college funds. It's tax deductible. She did say that she always recommends that you NOT tell the kids/parents you're doing it because the money can be used for any educational expense and you can change the beneficiary at any time (so if you decide to go back to college in 10 years and you decide you'd rather use it yourself, there are no hard feelings about using the "kid's" money). Also so it's more of a general nice surprise instead of the kid counting on it and not trying for scholarships and stuff.