Chit Chat

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Vespidae, Aug 20, 2012.

  1. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    I’ll respond on the two I gave, including yours. “Old Curmudgeon” was something that Zoom called herself in a post I thought was funny. Hence, new title. I made yours “Instigator” during the discussion about sandwich toppings. I think that one didn’t get noticed until several days later so it didn’t have the jocular context I intended. I’ll remove user titles if asked. It’s been done before.
     
  2. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I know? And I’ve tried to be better. You’ve said some shit to me too and I don’t hold it against you. I do think we’ve come a long way. I’d have invited you for beers if not pandemic.
    Obviously I’m being argumentative but if you’re open mouthed at me... same. I don’t see things the same way at all. Regardless of my bestie status with V I agreed with what she said. I’m not to defend my friend but this is literally a whole thread WKing for Canal. I’m not mad or telling anyone what to do I just don’t get it.
     
  3. CJ

    CJ Chicken

    It’s not the phrase in particular. It’s a mod using name calling to attack a poster. It’s tacky and not the way a good moderator behaves.

    How is that not obvious?
     
    user4290, Erie and user4030 like this.
  4. CJ

    CJ Chicken

    It is not, though. People are upset at the poor way that a troll was handled and resorted to leaving/reduced posting rather than drawing the ire of the mods. This thread is about larger issues than a single poster and there are many posts specifically stating that. It can’t be minimized or waved away as a rabid defense of a single person by a bunch of fangirls.
     
    A. Ham, Erie and user4030 like this.
  5. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Not everyone thinks the mod(s) did anything egregious. This whole episode has been confusing and frustrating as hell.
     
  6. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    The troll was a real person. I chatted with her the first time she came here. Now she was obviously in crisis and this is not the place for her. But to be told to fuck off seemed unnecessary.
     
  7. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Same @CoolWife . She and I exchanged a few messages. She's hella disturbed and needs way more than a not-hospital can give her, of course. Continuing to call her a troll helps fan people's righteousness indignation I guess.
     
  8. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    The part I'm struggling with is everyone that thinks the responses to LK weren't out of line and the insistence she was a troll. What if she wasn't? What if the "heinous bitchy" responses are what put her over the edge? I understand people troll and I understand you can't trust everyone on the internet but in that situation the ONLY acceptable response in my mind is telling her to seek professional help just in case she wasn't trolling. Several people told her to do that and that's good but several didn't. I get it, she hurt people's feelings. I have an aunt that passed from COVID that I haven't talked about here so I'm not immune to being bothered when people say things way out of line about COVID but that doesn't give anyone a pass to be shitty human to someone that is potentially suicidal and struggling. The responses of some of the people here to that thread is more what me made me rethink how I feel than what the mods did or said.
     
    Afishwish and Lh718 like this.
  9. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    To clarify, you are saying you think the way she talked to me when I asked for updates on the situation was appropriate?
     
  10. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Yes. She's not your boss or a politician or whatever else. She's technically part of the community you're purporting to care about. You asked her a question, and she gave you an answer. You didnt like it and kept pushing publicly, and she pushed back.

    Don't act like you don't know V and her general attitude. You knew she wasn't going to be all roses and rainbows. You still pushed, and now you're crying about a situation that was predictable.
     
  11. Erie

    Erie Florida AF

    @Imabug1002 my point has been that Canal’s responses were NOT able to be classified as “heinously bitchy”. She had two comments - one saying “what the fuck” to someone saying they didn’t care if people died from COVID (which is a reasonable response IMO, but we could disagree on that - I don’t see it as “heinously bitchy” though) and the other said that we can’t provide the help LK needed. Somehow she was the one called a heinous bitch though. And the mods are standing by that, which is not cool for a lot of us.
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  12. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Yeah I know she’s bitchy and have been on the receiving end of the bitchiness before. I do expect better behavior.
     
  13. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Why? Just because of the mod hat? That's dumb. She's still who she is, and that doesn't change because she has extra administrative duties or has to actively police bad behavior.
     
  14. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I’m confused about your point, then. If V can behave like that toward other users and it’s okay because she has a history of behavior like that, then why is the same not true of other posters being rude or mean?
     
  15. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Because she did not just come out of the gate bitch blazing. Her "bad day" post that some people seem to find oh so appalling was actually very diplomatic and kind to all parties. Then she was called out not once, not twice, but several times. My point isn't that it was okay for V to be a bitch in a vacuum but that it was not only predictable but understandable given the whole conversation. You are smart enough to know the difference @HBC .
     
  16. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I am not then because I don’t see it.
     
  17. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Well then we can just agree to disagree because I don't see a problem with what she said/did.
     
  18. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Your tone is shifting. First you complain about a pattern of meanness and now I can’t be upset about meanness because it’s a pattern and I should have expected it.
     
  19. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    I'm not saying Canal is a heinous bitch and I'm not singling her out, I really like her and have nothing against her. There were other responses I thought were much worse and I was referring to the situation as a whole. Reading it after it happened, the tone and responses were not helpful and I was taken aback by how snide of a response the people on this board had to someone who was struggling. If you want specifics of what I think about Canal's response, thinking "what the actual fuck" isn't the problem and I think most people had that response initially in their minds, it's writing it out as the response which is 1000% unnecessary. The next response of we don't know you and we can't help also ISN'T DOING ANYTHING for LK and is brushing her off so to me it was also 100% unnecessary.

    Again:
    If all the responses were some form of please seek help, maybe a sprinkle of empathy and then letting the mods know via reports etc so they could ban/lock/whatever, I don't think we would be having this conversation.
     
  20. CJ

    CJ Chicken

    QFT.

    I am the one that told LK to fuck off after first telling her to seek help, so why aren’t I told off/run off? Some of you may feel that my comment was heinously bitchy but it was never addressed to me, personally or privately by mods or non-mod posters.

    You can’t have it both ways, because if you do, cliques form and people get split into us vs them. Furthermore, by unevenly and inconsistently applying whatever moderation “policy” the forum has, it just furthers the divide.
     
    user4290 and Erie like this.
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    I'm being facetious because you've continually denied any meanness from other posters that have been called out. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there.

    For a real response, here's the difference. V was bitchy after trying to be the professional mod you have been demanding but ignored in the moment. You, Canal, others just throw in snide comments here and there when nothing warranted them except your desire to be snarky.

    @ClamJam you weren't the one that ALL CAPS called out the mod for being a mod. I don't get what y'all don't get about how that went down.
     
  22. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    @Lh718 you can take my name off the list. I don’t need to be snide because if I have something to say to someone I say it directly
     
  23. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Okay and in that spirit, I'm telling you that you're wrong.
     
  24. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Well she failed because chalking up being upset about everything LK said to having a bad day was dismissive. Bitchy from the start. But it’s okay! I should expect her to be bitchy?

    What COULD have happened is that she could have said you might be right I could have phrased things differently thanks for bringing it up, but she’s quintuple-ing down that she isn’t sorry for what she said that upset me (and others).

    You’re here screeching that everything isn’t the way we perceive others (and apparently I don’t understand my own posts) and that yes other users are snide and mean but you can’t see that the same might be true of V’s actions as a moderator? When you have a whole bunch of people saying yeah it was not okay. The only way I can makes these mental gymnastics make sense is that you aren’t upset at V because she was rude to people you’re already BEC with.
     
    user4290 likes this.
  25. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    The situation was over by the time some of us saw it. I don't think bringing it back up that day to tell people what we thought about their responses would have done anything good after it was shut down twice. V ended the conversation in the blues thread and you didn't bring it to another thread to continue to hash it out Canal did so the response was to her. But if you want to know, your response was shitty as hell too.
     
    nym711 likes this.