Discussion in 'Wellness' started by calicat, Jul 26, 2016.

  1. calicat

    calicat Queen of the Eggs

    Hey Chickens!

    So I had my colposcopy yesterday and the doctor noticed a birthmark looking thing on my left side and wants to do a vulvar punch. Not a lot of literature out there on this that isn't "I have a lot of lesions and we're doing a vulvar punch" "OMJG CANCER". I will say my doctor said it is small but because of three abnormal paps and cell changes she wants to remove it and biopsy it to be safe.

    Has anyone here had a vulvar punch and feel like sharing their experience? I was told I would be given a local anesthesia but that in itself sounds less than pleasant.
  2. I have. They're uncomfortable, but not horrendous.
  3. PerilousPoozer

    PerilousPoozer Chicken

    I've used an enema. When I was pregnant I was taking Zofran for nausea and I got really constipated. An enema helped, but what worked even better was a glycerin suppository. It was recommended by my OB. It's a little cone that you insert and then wait. The package said up to 15 minutes but I think it took me about 1.5 minutes and I was much better. Good luck, not fun!
  4. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Like a fleet enema?
  5. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

  6. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    I was recommended one years ago, but 19 year old me was way too grossed out to consider it. A glass of prune juice fixed things up in minutes.
  7. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    I had similar issues post surgery due to opiates. I drank this liquid stuff my mom recommended - magnesium citrate - you can get it at CVS - it did the trick. So that's my recommendation.
  8. Milk of magnesia worked better than the enema, for me. But everyone is different.
  9. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Go with the magnesium citrate. It's incredibly effective. Once it kicks in it cleans you out completely so don't take it until you will be home for the night, but do it.
    Ms. Chanandler Bong likes this.
  10. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    The glycerin tabs will do the same thing, I'd try that first. Also, TMI:
    If it's not totally impacted, you can help yourself along a little. Put a clean finger or two in your vagina and you'll be able to feel it. Push it down towards your anus while you bear down and you might be able to get enough out to feel comfortable going out to get the other laxatives, at least.
    Also pick up some fiber one bars and have one of those with some apple cider for lunch. :wink:
  11. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    I'd stay home and take the enema. In laws are painful enough on their own.
  12. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    I was the same way. I was crying to W saying I thought it was going to burst and I would be septic and die.
    Snack Queen likes this.
  13. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    I can see myself using this thread a LOT.

    Just thinking of a line from Broad City:

    "Dude, what do you think is worse: constipation or diarrhea. I think constipation. Diarrhea I'm like, okay!"

    It's the actual worst.

    Anyone ever have a bruise not go away, ever? Is this a thing? After three weeks, how worried should I be?
  14. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I have a bruise on my leg from two summers ago so don't ask me.
    PettyLaBelle likes this.
  15. Dr. Google says to consult with your doctor if it hasn't healed in 2+ weeks.
  16. wntrwhte

    wntrwhte Chicken

    I have a dent in my thigh from a dirt bike accident 5 years ago.

    Last night my husband was poking my leg and said "wow you still have that dent huh?"

    Thanks honey, I had almost forgotten the time your 400 pound dirt bike crushed my femur.

    Figure it's permanent at this point, it still looks bruised when I'm not tan.
  17. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    I have a five-inch-long dent in my ass from falling down the stairs three years ago. I think it actually split my glute or something. It was the nastiest bruise I've ever seen (not being dramatic) and it left real, lasting damage.

    This bruise on M's face came from bonking her cheek on a chair from a sitting position (J sent her into a giggle fit and she fell over). The weird thing was that the bruise appeared immediately, going from her cheek bone and then extending into a crescent shape (a true shiner) all the way to the inside corner of her eye. It's 75% gone, but there's still some darkness under her eye and on her cheekbone. I feel like it's still yellowing a little more every day, so maybe that's a good sign. I dunno. I will bring it up at her next appointment. It concerns me that it's still there, and that it showed up so fast. I hope she's not a hemophiliac or something.

    Actually, my favorite MD will be at the Oktoberfest thing I'm going to tomorrow at my in-laws'.

    Would anyone else like to piggyback a question onto mine? I'll ask Dr. Bob.
  18. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    I have very sensitive skin and bruise super easily and typically almost immediately. The horrific bruise from my IV during labour didn't totally fade for almost a month, long enough that rooster asked if I needed to see a doctor about it.
    TaterTot likes this.
  19. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    When I got hit by a car my ass was bruised for 5 months. The left cheek might still be a little larger than the right because of it.
  20. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    @Dorothygale That was my second-worst bruise! And yes, now that I think of it, it did last a long-ass time. It just happened to be the least of my worries at the time. I should consider a luxury that my biggest health worry right now is a bruise that's hanging on a little longer than it should.
  21. wntrwhte

    wntrwhte Chicken

    Heads and hands tend to bleed a lot, and facial skin is quite thin, so while it might take longer to see a bruise on say, your shin, you can often see one almost immediately on hands and faces. I wouldn't be worried about it, but I was the only one of my classmates not to go to med school and make a zillion dollars so.
    TaterTot likes this.
  22. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Guys. I am so tempted to merge this thread with the Paging Dr. Bee thread.
    yesmaster, PettyLaBelle, Fitz and 5 others like this.
  23. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I have long bruise times, too. I ain't worried about it, TBH.

    Except right now my foot hurts. A fully loaded self-propelled stretcher (read: really heavy) ran over my foot during a code at work Wednesday. When it first happened I thought I broke my foot, but I started at bedside until the patient was stable, and by that time it was hurting less. I got an X-ray the next morning because it was still hurting, but no break luckily. It doesn't look that bad, just some light bruising and a little puffiness. The imaging shows a lot of tissue insult and some extra fluid in the proximal joint of my great toe. So achy and stiff. I've been pretty pouty about it.
  24. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    @Honey Why can't I just enjoy discussing all my real and imagined ailments in graphic detail like all other geriatric-minded thirty-somethings?
  25. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    [whisper]I had a bruise that lasted a year once.[/whisper]
    TaterTot and HBC like this.