Time to put on the cone of shame

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Rico Suave, Nov 30, 2016.

  1. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Derpy chickens, ROLL CALL.

    I'm not supposed to eat at my desk, but I was starving. So I started snacking on the Flamin' Hot Munchies mix I randomly have in my drawer. Well I inhaled hot cheeto dust and started hacking to death uncontrollably... right as my boss walks by. In my coughing fit I managed to dump my entire bag on my desk and drooled on my keyboard.

    I am mortified.
  2. android

    android Founding Messiah

    That's totally something I would do.
    Rico Suave likes this.
  3. HBC

    HBC Chicken

  4. Cashmere Bandit

    Cashmere Bandit Minion moocher

    I'm not sure if it's okay to like that. But I did it anyway.
    Rico Suave likes this.
  5. I laughed way too much at "drooled on my keyboard". Sorry Rico, schadenfreude.
    Rico Suave likes this.
  6. nettysgirl

    nettysgirl Ultrawhore

    OMJG, this is so awesome! thank you for sharing.
    Rico Suave likes this.
  7. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    If it makes you feel better I had my own "hide under a rock" moment this week. Months ago I posted about how my office hired a new pool manager. He looks just like Jacob from those vampire movies. I am not used to seeing people soooo good looking so I just stared. The man does not look human. No one should be that beautiful. I did not know what to say so introduced myself and said "see you at the Christmas party."

    I ran into him at our insurance meeting the other day and stared again and said "oh look it's not the Christmas party."

    We had Christmas party sign ups today. I hope he does not go.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  8. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Excellent thread. I'm sure I will be here frequently.
  9. calicat

    calicat Queen of the Eggs

    I love the drooling part.

    A+ story rico
    Rico Suave likes this.
  10. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    I live to bring you chickens the lolz.

    I hope he does.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  11. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    I am such a dork. He does not give me a lady boner but I have no idea how to talk to someone who looks toooo good. Please to not curse me Rico.
  12. I just biffed it outside my classroom. the heel of my boot caught funny, I slipped and fell on my back in front of 25 5th graders. At least I was wearing pants not a dress today.
    Meatz likes this.
  13. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Mostly I just want to see what he looks like. :)
  14. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    I will sneak a shot for you IF I run into him.
    Kimmers and Fitz like this.
  15. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Meatz likes this.
  16. nettysgirl

    nettysgirl Ultrawhore

    I ... um... I feel pretty sure this will end with a story posted right here.
  17. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    I love this thread.
    Kimmers likes this.
  18. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    @nettysgirl I have not had much luck with creeping up on people and animals. Every day at 7:45, on my way to work, a guy walks two dogs. One is a ringer for @Canaligator 's dog Lucy and another looks just like @April Ludgate 's dog Nacho. What are the odds! I have been trying to take photos for proof but it is really hard in a car... also I think he thinks I have a thing for him because I suuuuuuper slow down when he walks by. Really I should just go talk to him but I do not know how to make "can I take a picture of your dog to show internet strangers" not weird or a "meet cute" for a hipster film.

    Here is the dog that is not Lucy. I found her on the ASPCA's website.
    not lucy.jpg
  19. shiba shake

    shiba shake Chicken

    Well I let some random lady in my home town take a picture of Ippo just because she said her neighbors owned a shiba and she wanted to show them. I'm just happy to show off my adorable dog, even to people I'll never meet.
    nym711 and Meatz like this.
  20. bluevalentine

    bluevalentine Statler or Waldorf

    How about this... at the end of my hockey class today, the instructors set up a game of shinny. I vehemently did not want to play, I only wanted to watch from the bench, because today no other women showed up and the class was full of guys who had obviously played much more hockey than my one month. I managed to 'nope' my way out of several shifts, until one instructor basically ousted me from the bench and I skated up to join the action. Everyone's in one end zone, battling for the puck, there's no one playing point on the left side so I go there. There's a pass and the puck goes through two other guys and OMJG, I have it! Everyone looks at me. I freak out and start skating for the other end, taking the puck with me. I notice no one on my team is following me. Crap. I have skated towards my own goal. At least I didn't take a shot, but I was so embarrassed.
  21. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Got to work nice and early this morning. Chatted with my mom for a bit, and started going through emails in anticipation of a potential call. Decided to pee before said call. When I got to the office I had clicked the lock on our suite door to what I thought was "unlocked". It was not. I locked myself out of my office suite and chilled in the main reception area for about a half hour until someone finally got in.
  22. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    megatron, A. Ham, Fitz and 1 other person like this.
  23. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Peeing is always worth it.
  24. Meatz

    Meatz Roma Basic

    Well yesterday I went to the doctors to get a shot for my migraine. The nurse was supppper cute and she asked me to pull down my pants. For some reason I said "I showered before I came." Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? How did I ever get a date?
  25. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    I locked myself out of my car during a job interview once. It was super hot in the middle of summer, so I sat in the lobby waiting for my ex to bring me my keys. Also it was lunch time so everyone was walking past me asking if everything was alright and I needed anything. I had to tell a dozen people that no, I'm just a moron and locked my keys in my car, but please hire me.