"No I do not want a kiss right now, your nose was just in Penny's butt!" This was said to Vixen and not J, in case that wasn't obvious
“Yes, mama’s pooping, now mama wipes her bottom, now we flush, now mama washes her hands!” I never thought I’d narrate my pooping process with such an eager audience.
"Sorry sweetie, you cannot nurse and suck your thumb at the same time. That's what we call an opportunity cost."
C does this too! He veryyyy slowly tries to slide his finger (or sometimes mine if hes holding mine) toward his mouth and sneak it in like I won’t notice
“You totally have a bug up your butt about this.” Something I’ve said before to him, but never in the context of him deciding we need a Japanese maple NOW. Also, impulse buys I never expected: a tree
At a ballet performance: “She was impressively insectlike.” It was ant-themed choreography, and I said this as a genuine compliment.
Who the hell did that to you (after my kid shaved his head). He was wearing a black and white shirt and I asked him if he was joining the Aryan Brotherhood I'm happy t say the hair grew back. Not as quickly as I hoped, bu-tit's back. I told myself early on hair and clothes were hills not worth dying on, but that tested my patience.