Things I never thought I'd say

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Rico Suave, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    On today's edition of things I never thought I'd say:

    P! Get your toe out of your nostril. If I catch you again I'm cutting it off.

    Being a parent is so fun.
     
  2. Oh! I have a lot of these! Most recently it was "No, [8th grader's name], it's never appropriate to lick your classmate."

    Teaching is great.
     
    Afishwish, Rico Suave and SassyFowl like this.
  3. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Oh yesss teacher 'never thought I'd say's' are the best.
     
  4. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Sometimes I say things and my coteacher just starts laughing. Half the time I don't even realize how crazy it is what I just said because when you work with 4 year olds, it's just kind of the norm lol
     
  5. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    "Well, if you'd stop trying to swallow your puke you wouldn't choke."
     
  6. pinacolada

    pinacolada Chicken

    "Don't put your foot in your poop!"

    Things I never thought I'd do: pull a booger out of C's nose and hand it to J with a straight face like it was a completely normal thing to do :lol:
     
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  7. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    "Wooooh, good one, buddy! That's a nice clean pinch."
     
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  8. It should be Friday...kids think they're suuuuuper clever this week.

    Kid: "What's a butthole note?"
    Me: "No...not butthole notes. Half notes get two counts, but whole notes get 4 in 4/4 time."
    Kid: "Yeah....what's a butthole note?"
    Me: "It's not a butthole note!"

    We have totally talked about whole notes in the past, this was not a misunderstanding, they're just being obnoxious.
     
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  9. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Thank you for your help, but we don't actually touch poop.
     
  10. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

  11. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Washing tiny hands, forever.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2017
  12. nym711

    nym711 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

    Me to Ham: Why is your armpit crusty?
     
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  13. allmaple

    allmaple Chicken

    Let Vixen outside after being in her crate while I was at a movie. She pees and is right back at the door to be let back in.

    Me: what are you doing? It's 5 o'clock. That's your poop time. You will stay outside until you poop.
     
    Tumnus, Fitz and BigFatGoalie like this.
  14. 24 Carat Sequin

    24 Carat Sequin Chicken

    Shit I thought I'd never say:

    "Do you really need to buy that?"
     
  15. Bucketwoman

    Bucketwoman Chicken

    5 year old daughter "I don't need a boyfriend, I'm going to marry my brother!"
    Me "no honey, we don't marry siblings"

    ...ughhhhh
     
  16. I got to say "please put your classmate down" today. Again.
     
  17. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Lol. A boy I used to nanny once told me, when he was 5, that when he grows up he's going to marry his (male) best friend. I told him the two of you might feel differently when you're adults and left it at that.
     
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  18. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    S tells me all the time that she is going to marry me (she's 3). If I try to tell her anything differently she gets very upset lol
     
  19. MagnificentCat

    MagnificentCat Chicken

    "Stop laying on the cat. You're not his blanket."
     
  20. "No...we keep our pants on during class." This was to a 4th grader, btw. One with no special needs. He took his sweatpants off in the middle of class and started waving them around. Is it May 24th yet?
     
  21. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “Oh, no! WHERE DID THE POOP GO?!”
    Mid-diaper change, Fry grabbed his dirty diaper, flinging the contents. The poop ended up nestled on his side. He got a bath after that incident.
     
    Tumnus, April Ludgate, A. Ham and 7 others like this.
  22. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    :lol: I said the same thing a couple days ago!! :lol: Those damn velcro diaper tabs, it stuck to his clothes I was tossing in the hamper and went flying on the floor.

    In my case, the poop actually stayed in the diaper, thank God.
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  23. "If I hear the word 'cropdust' one more time you're going to the office."

    This was after 4 or 5 times asking them to please stop talking about farting. 6th grade boys, man.
     
  24. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    6th grade boys could certainly do worse than “cropdust”.
     
    megatron, virgo and A. Ham like this.
  25. Sojourns Way

    Sojourns Way Chicken

    To a patient whose hands kept wandering under his blanket when female staff are in the room. "Their are such thinges as private time activities. Hands have to be on top of the covers and above the Mason Dixon line while we are in the room. "
     

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