Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.
That’ll be cute embroidered on his backpack
A friend of mine's brother was decapitated by a utility wire riding an ATV.
GAH that’s horrific
Post haircut: Why... why am I so silver?!
Sorry, my dude, time comes for us all.
My husband’s feelings on how I’m handling stay-at-home:
“Well, we’ve learned you’d be a bad trophy wife. Except to a jigsaw puzzle heir. That you could do.”
Me: Does this FB avatar look like me?
P: aww yeah that's cute. It also kind of looks like Adam Conover...
I mean, he isn't wrong but I don't have a beard.
Taking out money on Animal Crossing.
J: aren't you going to pay your loan?
Me: I've fully upgraded my house, there's no achievement for paying off the final loan and the reward you get isn't worth it.
J: but it's a loan, you're supposed to pay it back.
Is he my MIL?
THEY GIVE YOU 30 YEARS MOM!
Okay but for real, J did remind me about a loan I had out on Pocket Camp.
Tom Nook gives the best loan terms in the history of the world. It’s just wrong to take advantage of him like that.
Me, trying on shorts I ordered online: what do you think of these?
M: they look ok.
M: You've very much adopted the mom short thing.
I’m sorry for the tragic death of your husband. In this unprecedented time, may I offer you some body disposal tips and the legal services of Chicken Lawyer @Canaligator?
WHY ARE MEN
That should be the opening line of the defense.
If this reaches trial which it won’t because we gonna Carole this shit.
You own those mom shorts! Because you are a hot mom!
You are all hired as my jury consultants, although if we draw a female judge I’m thinking bench trial.
I planted the Aerogarden yesterday. S came into the kitchen at 6 am this morning without his glasses and thought the rapture had arrived. So just now, he put this next to the Aerogarden.
"What are those pants with the built in suspenders called?"
Y'all, he was going for overalls.
“You have to stop listening to that song, your accent is out of control”
This morning when my alarm went off:
P: HUH?!? Oh, but...I dont know what's going on?
Me: ssshhh it's okay. Go back to sleep.
P: pfft, you say that NOW! zzzzzz
“How many people do you think pretended not to understand the This is America music video last year but said black lives matter in the last 7 days”
"How do you take a shower without using your hands?"
"You always wash your hands after."
And that's how P learned about retinol.
Snuggling in bed.
J: You smell good.
J: Like pencils
I was steamed about the foolish risk my dad and aunt are taking going to my cousin’s wedding.
“I mean, I talked your dad out of joining an MLM today. Your expectations are still too high.”