Shit Roosters Say

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    That’ll be cute embroidered on his backpack
     
    Afishwish, virgo, Lh718 and 1 other person like this.
  2. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    A friend of mine's brother was decapitated by a utility wire riding an ATV.
     
  3. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    GAH that’s horrific
     
  4. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Post haircut: Why... why am I so silver?!


    Sorry, my dude, time comes for us all.
     
  5. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    My husband’s feelings on how I’m handling stay-at-home:

    “Well, we’ve learned you’d be a bad trophy wife. Except to a jigsaw puzzle heir. That you could do.”
     
    Afishwish, shiba shake, Lh718 and 8 others like this.
  6. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    Me: Does this FB avatar look like me?
    P: aww yeah that's cute. It also kind of looks like Adam Conover...

    I mean, he isn't wrong but I don't have a beard.
     
    Afishwish, shakespeer, Lh718 and 9 others like this.
  7. allmaple

    allmaple Chicken

    Taking out money on Animal Crossing.

    J: aren't you going to pay your loan?
    Me: I've fully upgraded my house, there's no achievement for paying off the final loan and the reward you get isn't worth it.
    J: but it's a loan, you're supposed to pay it back.
     
    Tumnus, Kimmers, Honey and 7 others like this.
  8. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Is he my MIL?

    THEY GIVE YOU 30 YEARS MOM!
     
    Apples&Oranges and allmaple like this.
  9. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Okay but for real, J did remind me about a loan I had out on Pocket Camp.
     
  10. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    Tom Nook gives the best loan terms in the history of the world. It’s just wrong to take advantage of him like that.
     
    Canaligator likes this.
  11. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    Me, trying on shorts I ordered online: what do you think of these?
    M: they look ok.
    ...
    M: You've very much adopted the mom short thing.

    :sad:
     
  12. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    I’m sorry for the tragic death of your husband. In this unprecedented time, may I offer you some body disposal tips and the legal services of Chicken Lawyer @Canaligator?
     
  13. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

  14. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    That should be the opening line of the defense.

    If this reaches trial which it won’t because we gonna Carole this shit.
     
    Lh718, Kimmers, Canaligator and 4 others like this.
  15. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    You own those mom shorts! Because you are a hot mom!
     
  16. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    You are all hired as my jury consultants, although if we draw a female judge I’m thinking bench trial.
     
    Honey, Lh718, whatchyagonnado and 6 others like this.
  17. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    I planted the Aerogarden yesterday. S came into the kitchen at 6 am this morning without his glasses and thought the rapture had arrived. So just now, he put this next to the Aerogarden.

    20200526_134848_copy_3024x1470.jpg
     
    Tumnus, Afishwish, Aw Pigley and 9 others like this.
  18. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    "What are those pants with the built in suspenders called?"

    Y'all, he was going for overalls.
     
    Tumnus, virgo, Fitz and 9 others like this.
  19. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    “You have to stop listening to that song, your accent is out of control”
     
    Tumnus, megatron, Canaligator and 2 others like this.
  20. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    This morning when my alarm went off:

    P: HUH?!? Oh, but...I dont know what's going on?
    Me: ssshhh it's okay. Go back to sleep.
    P: pfft, you say that NOW! zzzzzz
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  21. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    “How many people do you think pretended not to understand the This is America music video last year but said black lives matter in the last 7 days”
     
    Tumnus, Lh718, Fitz and 2 others like this.
  22. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    "How do you take a shower without using your hands?"

    :eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow::eyebrow:

    "You always wash your hands after."

    And that's how P learned about retinol.
     
    Tumnus likes this.
  23. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Snuggling in bed.
    J: You smell good.
    Me: Thanks :loveu:
    J: Like pencils
    Me: :?::eyebrow:
     
  24. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

  25. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    I was steamed about the foolish risk my dad and aunt are taking going to my cousin’s wedding.
    “I mean, I talked your dad out of joining an MLM today. Your expectations are still too high.”