Shit Roosters Say

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by Fitz, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Text from J: Alright Bug, it’s competition time! Who got the worst mail today?
    (Picture of his citation for running a red light next to a picture of a package to me from my brother’s fiancé, assuming it’s a bridesmaid proposal)
    Me: Well, yours will be less expensive!
    Aw Pigley, Lh718, Fitz and 14 others like this.
  2. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

  3. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    Was it a proposal?! What was in it?!
    Tumnus, Zombie Llama and scotchbutter like this.
  4. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    I just got back from traveling so I opened it tonight. It was a (broken) ring pop, a mini bottle of Jim Beam :sick:, a postcard that said “Take a shot, I’m tying the knot, Will you be my bridesmaid?” And a shit ton of glitter/tinsel/confetti.

    J and I can figure out why Jim Beam. I don’t think she likes drinking it from what I know. I for sure don’t drink it and I can’t come up with any theme/connection/pun that would make it a good choice.

    J was like “I know this is shitty stereotyping but if you’re sending these out to girls, doesn’t vodka make more sense as more well liked and easier to make into cocktails? I know some women like bourbon or whiskey but most don’t.”
  5. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    STFU you're wrong J
  6. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    Now I'm picturing a rustic chic barn wedding where you are forced get to wear cowboy boots with your bridesmaid's dress. How close am I @Imabug1002?
    Fitz, Imabug1002, Tumnus and 2 others like this.
  7. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    My cousin got engaged a couple of weeks ago and we are trying to make a brunch plan - she mentioned she had a little something for me and now I'm paranoid she wants me to be a bridesmaid :lol: (I am old AF and she has a million friends so I don't really think she would want me to be a bridesmaid, but thanks to this thread it's on my mind, haha.)
  8. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    I've heard beach destination wedding in March or April but who knows. Probably still cowboys boots or something though.

    Sorry friend. We can be old lady bridesmaids together.
    Canaligator likes this.
  9. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Thank fuck my friends are all old and married or not the wedding party type. I can offer ring bearers now, but not putting on a bridesmaids dress.
    virgo, A. Ham, Kimmers and 2 others like this.
  10. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    I have three friends that I'd still do it for if asked, but I'm glad I'm old enough and value my sanity enough to just say no to anyone else.
  11. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    @Canaligator maybe it is a "Will you be my officiant" gift!
    ClamJam, fantasynerd, Tumnus and 8 others like this.
  12. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    haha oh man, I didn't even think of that despite having performed two weddings! That would be way better than being a bridesmaid.
    Tumnus, Chevere and Imabug1002 like this.
  13. Chevere

    Chevere Chicken

    Aww darn, missed out on a chance to hire you!
    Canaligator likes this.
  14. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    One of my bridesmaids is engaged and I'm sooo relieved because she's not having a wedding party. I can't afford to be a bridesmaid this year, but even if I could I don't really feel like it (and I feel bad about that because she's awesome).
  15. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Officiating a wedding is way better than being a bridesmaid. I hope that’s it!
  16. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Haha for real, I'm guessing it's more like she got a Christmas ornament for Lucy or something like that. I can't imagine her doing a bridesmaid proposal box type of thing to ask me to be the officiant. I usually get asked to do a reading and I can see her asking that, but without fanfare :)
  17. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    None of the friends who would have asked me to stand up for them had traditional weddings. Two got married at the courthouse and one at Burning Man. :lol: The only person I still have to worry about is my sister, and I just know she’ll be an awful c-hole of a bride.
  18. deet

    deet Chicken

    I’ve tAlked before about M and his speech struggles, well turns out he might not be much of a talker, but he loves to sing. Can literally sing like 6 short songs. Very clearly and uses inflection.

    s: he’s like Ozzy Osborne. Can’t understand a damn thing he says until he starts singing
    allmaple, Roo, shiba shake and 22 others like this.
  19. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    That's adorable.
    deet likes this.
  20. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    “I put pants on for the pizza boy.”
    Fitz, Tumnus and Rico Suave like this.
  21. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    I’m sure the pizza boy was appreciative.
    Tumnus likes this.
  22. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Me: Oooo that slaps
    A:...and by that you mean it is....good? Bad? I can’t tell what you are trying to say
  23. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  24. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    B, to C: You just hit drums and white supremacists, that’s it.
    A. Ham likes this.
  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Me: I accidentally put on my daytime serum in the nighttime!
    B: at least it won’t keep you up!
    Tumnus, Lh718, scotchbutter and 3 others like this.

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