Mother Hens

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Apples&Oranges, Apr 3, 2014.

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  1. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    Holy smokes whatchya. You are going through so much! A few explanations and kinder words from your health care professionals would have possibly made things at least a little easier on you, I am angry at the way you were treated.

    Sending you all the love and hugs. You are an amazing mom, its clear how much you love your kids and THATS what they will cherish and remember ❤
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  2. nym711

    nym711 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

    @TaterTot I hope she has a safe and easy recovery. You too <3

    @whatchyagonnado you are a great mom! Circumstances aren't ideal and things suck right now, but I have no doubt that you are doing the best you can do.
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  3. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    Wow @whatchyagonnado that’s a lot to process. Glad you guys are home now. Continue to care for yourself and your mental health also, a little help with the trauma of all that in a while might help you get “past” it.
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  4. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Thank you all for the kind words, I genuinely appreciate all of them. <3
     
  5. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    Hugs Whatchya. Adjusting is tough. I'm sorry you were treated so terribly by the staff, that is inexcusable.

    Is there anything we can do for you?
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  6. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    I'm sorry whatchya :sad: Be kind to yourself. The period after birth is always full of so many emotions. Even if things go great, those crashing hormones are so, so powerful, then if there are any complications, even minor, it is all just amplified so badly. Especially for a 2nd kid, it is a super hard adjustment. S to this day will tell me she doesn't want me to have another baby because she doesn't want me to have to go back to the hospital. It's hard on them. And hard on ourselves. And trying to balance everything is hard. I know I've said it on here before, but I feel like I was in such a dark place the first couple of months with D. I really think I had some PPA going on or something. The thought of 3am crying fits, or trying to go back to work, or trying to take S out anywhere or just do anything at all with her was so overwhelming and gave me a sense of panic. Even though logically I knew it was temporary, I couldn't emotionally process that fact and it just felt like doom. I felt like I fucked up BIG by having a 2nd kid. fucked up my life. fucked up S's life. my marriage (J was kind, and sweet, and attentive, but I just wanted nothing to do with him, emotionally because I was just so tapped out). Things definitely got better by about 3mos or so, but it was a hard time. All of this is temporary. You are a wonderful mom (if you weren't you wouldn't even care!), it will all get better. None of your children will be worse for the wear. Even if there had been no complications, it would still be a big adjustment. you'll get there. don't be afraid to reach out for help.
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  7. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Quoted for absolute truth.

    Hugs, @whatchyagonnado . You are a wonderful mom, as proven by how much worrying you're doing. <3 I wish I lived close so I could run over and do some chores for you. But you know we are here for you to mentally unload.
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  8. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Hugs whatchya. You're doing an awesome job <3
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  9. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Omg @whatchyagonnado you’ve been through a physical and emotional ordeal. Even a birth without the extra complications leaves a woman depleted. I think it would be impossible to function optimally after all that happened. Don’t rag on yourself. It will get better and you’re not a bad mom, just an exhausted human who’s been through some real shit.
     
    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  10. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Just got out of an appointment with the autism doc, and she diagnosed Fry with ASD. I’m not so much worried about Fry because he’s perfect as he is, but it’s emotional because it has me thinking of my brother. It also has me wondering about myself a bit as many of his autism flags are things I did as a kid.

    My biggest worry with Fry’s diagnosis is social isolation. Social scenes can be so tough for non-neurotypical people.
     
  11. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

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  12. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Hugs @Afishwish <3 Autism can be hard, but he’s so bright and he has an amazing mom to help him navigate a world which might have a harder time seeing that. He has his whole life to learn social skills and coping mechanisms, they just might need to be taught more directly/explicitly than for most kids. And people and kids seems to be increasingly accepting of neurodiversity, and more and more appreciative of the contributions of people who have a less common way of thinking and experiencing the world.
     
    Fitz, MagnificentCat, Tumnus and 3 others like this.
  13. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    True. This is a good area for it - it’s SUPER common because of tech and many services are available. I’m not so much worried that he’ll become my brother (his substance abuse issues I think largely stemmed from trying to fit in), it just has me thinking of him a lot.
     
  14. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    @Afishwish I have been so impressed with how fiercely you’ve advocated for Fry and I know he will not only succeed but thrive thanks to your dedication. Thats still a lot to process though and its good to allow yourself feel all the things. Maybe the doc knows of some moms you could connect with to get a feel for social opportunities with them or in your city in general.
     
    deet, CoolWife, Afishwish and 4 others like this.
  15. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Hugs @Afishwish <3<3 That's a lot of feelings. We are all here for you as you process everything.
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  16. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    @Afishwish others have said all I wanted to say. You got this, and Fry is going to be so supported. :Hugs: ❤️❤️
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  17. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    You’re an amazing mom @Afishwish and Fry is such a special kid. You guys got this.
     
    Zombie Llama and Afishwish like this.
  18. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    He is perfect and you are such a wonderful advocate for him <3
     
    Zombie Llama and Afishwish like this.
  19. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    Hugs Fish. Fry has the best mom possible to help him through any struggles this throws his way.
     
    Zombie Llama and Afishwish like this.
  20. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Thank you, all. Love you guys!
     
    Comet and Pickles like this.
  21. ClamJam

    ClamJam Chicken

    Hugs, fish.
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  22. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    Hugs Fish. Fry is lucky to have you. <3
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  23. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    So many hugs, Fish.
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  24. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    You’re an awesome mom with an awesome kid @Afishwish !
     
    Afishwish likes this.
  25. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    Hugs Fish. I'm sure that is hard to hear even if you were kind of expecting it. He's a great kid and y'all are awesome at advocating for him.
     
    Afishwish likes this.

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