Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Apples&Oranges, Nov 1, 2017.
Not abnormal from what I've seen with many parents, and I only see them max 4 days.
@moose When I decided to EP with R, I was told to pump 12!!!!! times a day, and pump until dry. I never really got dry and so pumped for 30 minutes at a time. If that sounds hellish, it totally was. All the work of BF and bottle feeding, and it just wasn't sustainable. It also left me with a massive over supply (under or over are horrible for different reasons) and exacerbated the PTSD I had from the birth. Feeding EBM is a very generous goal, but girl don't crucify yourself over it! What was sustainable was getting 3 sets of pump parts, pumping 7-10 times a day with massage and warm compresses, sunflower lechitin (I'm clog prone), and making rooster do at least one of the overnight feeds. Seriously, even if you're awake and chained to the pump, get his ass out of bed to feed the baby. Water and semi regular meals (not necessarily a specific food) help a ton. Can't pump from an empty cup! I lasted about 9 months, which supplied R with BM for 10.5 months. I was glad I did it at the time but no way in hell I would do it again.
@ClamJam 12 pumping sessions is EXACTLY what lactation told me yesterday when I called for advice. They said to pump every 2 hours for the next few days in order to bump the supply up. I’m willing to do it for that long but may need to revisit the rest after that.
Did you also give baby R vitamin D drops with the breastmilk?
Let me know how this goes! Taking E’s paci is next up on our list, she only has it when sleeping but I know it’s going to be rough.
Once your supply regulates, if you’re able to go longer and not experience a drop in total amount per day, then start spacing out your pump sessions. You may have a lot more storage capacity for milk than you think and be able to pump what you need spacing out your pump sessions every 4-5 hours during the day instead of every 2-3 hours. I would strongly urge you to start taking the sunflower lecithin at least once a day with a meal. It is no fun learning you’re prone to clogs when you’re at your doctor’s office with double mastitis feeling like death warmed over.
So I did not give R the VitD drops, because they made him barf every time. Instead, I supplemented myself with lots of VitD and then his first food was oat cereal with formula and his second food was cheese around 5 months. Not a popular choice, but I didn't see the value in the drops if they made him give back his meal, so.
Where can I buy the sunflower lecithin? Online only or do stores carry it as well?
E’s pediatrician agreed today that she definitely has a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie, which may be impacting her ability to feed. They referred us to a specialist and we are going today to see if it should be clipped. I recommend tongue clipping as part of my daily job requirements but the thought of having it done to her is killing me slowly.
@moose I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal at all. I had a lot of the same feelings.
We had a lot of issues with breastfeeding at first too and needed to supplement a bit. My milk took a while to come in (over a week, don't remember exactly when), probably because of the trauma of my delivery. C also had a tongue tie - we got it lasered at five days old and he barely cared about the procedure itself. He hated the tongue massaging for the couple of weeks afterwards, but it made BFing so much better for us.
My pediatrician recommended holding off on the Vitamin D drops until feeding was well established because some babies are not into the taste. We still haven't used them and C seems fine.
Lots of love to you, this is a tough time under the best of circumstances and you've had some tough stuff to deal with.
R had a bit of a tongue tie also, and that was fixed with scissors. The ped sent us out of the room so we wouldn't be upset by the procedure and it was fine. It will be okay! I liked this lecithin from Amazon:
They wouldn’t clip anyway because of the info I listed in my birth story. They said a bottle fed baby is better than a blue baby. Cue more crying. It’s all a mess. I should’ve known not to assume that there’s any easy fix for this anyway.
Jeff Goldblum what a thing to say! I’m so sorry. Is it worth a second opinion?
I completely understand wanting so badly for the breastfeeding to work out. I know you know that if it doesn’t, she’ll still be more than fine. But hugs anyway because I know this didn’t go the way you wanted.
While I completely agree that a bottle fed baby is better than a blue baby, that comment was really insensitive. They should care for her with her future in mind. So you have to EP now doesn't mean you can never BF (if you want to). Maybe they think she'll "grow out of it" as the rest of her grows and heals?
Sorry friend, it's all so hard. You're doing amazing however you feed her.
So I never exclusively nursed. Even now he comfort nurses rather than nurses for nutrition and never without a nipped shield (we just couldn’t get there and now with 6 teeth and a 7th on the way I refuse to go without it). And in the beginning I mourned that I failed him. Logically it takes two to successfully nurse, but that didn’t matter. Obviously in my mind I was a terrible mother because I couldn’t do this one normal thing.
All this to say you might never perfectly nurse her. That’s okay. You’re an excellent mother and you will bond with her in many ways. I stopped trying to nurse for about 6 weeks and then tried again and it sort of worked for comfort. It was a lot easier to get to where he could get something and neither of us was frazzled and frustrated when I gave myself a bit of a breather. And I love those tiny moments when he nurses just enough to tide him over until a bottle warms up. The nursing bond doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
You’ve got a lot going on right now. It can feel overwhelming. I don’t say this to diminish your feelings— just to bring you comfort that you’re not alone and it’s going to be okay. You’re doing great. You’re a great mom and the perfect mom for her.
I EP'd for 10.5 months. At the beginning, I think I pumped like 8-10 times a day? 2 oz per pump is amazing. I remember using the little 2 oz collection containers to pump with, and then all of a sudden, it overflowed when I wasn't paying attention. It was a surprise when my supply jumped up. I took sunflower lecithin (from Amazon - Now brand), and ate overnight oats every morning.
After three weeks, my LC recommended pumping every three hours for five days, and then pumping every 3.5 hours for 5 days, and then settling in at about every 4 hours or six times a day. I did that until I felt ok about my supply, and then I moved it to 5 times a day once I started working. I finally dropped the overnight pump once E started sleeping through the night. My supply took a massive hit then, but I needed my sleep.
I was in the middle of nursing D to sleep, and he got mad about who knows what? Literally just nursing him. And cried for MIL so she rocked him to sleep.... I guess that's one way to night time wean I've gone 6 years being the preferred caregiver like, 99.9% of the time and I gotta say, it kind of stings :/ especially because MIL was in one of her bitchy moods today. Oh well.
OMJG I would be so mad I'd leave them both at the firehouse. Sorry A&O
This is exactly how I felt, @MagnificentCat. It's such a headfuck. @moose youve had a crazy difficult start. Whether you bf, ep, or give formula, your baby will be loved, healthy, and happy. You are the right mum for your daughter, and you will both learn the ropes together.
I couldn't breastfeed at all, and so I ep'd till he was 5m, finally switching to all formula at 6m. I had a very similar situation to mag cat, 2oz or so to begin with but before I knew it I was pumping about 40oz per day over 6 sessions. I actually dropped the overnight pump pretty early as E started to sleep through and I just needed to sleep. If you go down this route get yourself a good quality hospital grade double pump, multiple parts so you don't have to sterilize all the time, and a hands free pumping bra.
Now that I am far enough away from the situation I think why the hell did it do it? It made a very difficult time even harder. Everyone has different reasons they might choose to EP but I 100% did it because I felt that I'd failed E. My sentence was to be chained to my pump. We don't give ourselves half the kindness we would show to someone else in the same situation.
This is pretty much how I feel. I failed by keeping her in my body where she couldn’t grow, failed by having uncontrolled blood pressure that resulted in her coming early, and failed by thinking breastfeeding was going well when in reality she was starving. I’m pumping because I desperately want to go back to breastfeeding and I have this idea that if I keep my supply up, maybe she’ll be ready once she gains weight. If not, the least I can do is give her breastmilk.
I’ve been pumping every 2-3 hours since Thursday. On Thursday I pumped a total of 14.5oz and Friday was 16.25oz. I have no idea if that’s enough or if I’m dealing with a lower supply. It’s really confusing and frustrating.
You are an ABSOLUTE SUPERHERO. Seriously. I am so sad you feel you have failed because you're doing awesome and fighting so hard for your baby. No matter what happens with breastfeeding you have not failed, you're already an excellent mother.
I know you won't believe it right now, but you 100% have not failed your baby. You kept her safe and got help for her and you whenever needed. She's got an amazing mom who is stronger than she knows.
Exclusively pumping for a newborn.
I’m not kidding when I said I lived on the exclusively pumping site. I had a million questions about how much to feed at a time, how much I needed to be pumping, and so on.
You’re doing great.
@moose I know exactly where you are and my heart breaks for you. You are being so hard on yourself. None of these things are your fault, nothing you could do or have done to change it. And despite everything your baby is and will be happy and healthy. And it will be because of you. Things won't be this tough forever.
So update. I figured out that it's not that D wanted MIL specifically last night, it's that he wanted to be rocked to sleep. So I rocked him to sleep tonight instead of nursed him. Let's see where this goes....
He fell asleep fine, but woke up more than ever wanting to nurse
This kid is nooot emptying my boobs. She drinks for a bit and then either fussed or falls asleep and won’t go back on. She’s also not let me put her down all day so I didn’t get to pump. I finally did, but my boobs hurt and my whole body is achy. Can you get mastitis in one day?