Marital Woes

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Rico Suave, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. HBC

    HBC Chicken
  2. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Yeah, that was super uncalled for. Why does he feel it falls all on your shoulders? And that his reaction was an appropriate way to talk to you about it?? I hope he gets his head out of his ass soon.
  3. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    N does the whole “well we’re obviously just going to do everything your way” thing too and it infuriates me... BUT ALSO, hell yes we are because I’m the one actually researching these things! So yes, I do in fact feel entitled to a majority rule vote on many things lol.
  4. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    Same here, for all of this. If they want an equal vote on these matters, they can do their own research.
  5. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    Ugh, we still have a pacifier too. We’ve been told she needs to be totally off if by age 3. Right now she’s night only. I asked our pediatrician for suggestions on how to make this change, and she said that talking to them and prepping them may really do wonders. But that’s not the issue here!

    This is going to sounds a little mean, but... If he really wants to do cold turkey, you should tell him it’s all on him. The nightly wake ups and irritability will be his responsibility. G and I disagreed about CIO during the first year, and I pretty much told him that I didn’t want to silence his opinion but that to me, it was really hard to deal with and hear and time out. My instinct was to comfort her immediately. So I gave him the responsibility and the monitor and plugged my ears. And after about 2 nights of failed CIO attempts, he was more willing to try other methods.
    Afishwish, Fitz and A. Ham like this.
  6. MagnificentCat

    MagnificentCat Chicken

    I had a pacifier at night until after 4. My mom just threw it away one day. I still give her shit about that.

    Never needed braces either.
  7. Lucyinthesky

    Lucyinthesky Chicken

    B had a soother until just before his third birthday. I snipped them with scissors vertically to ruin them. It worked, once he realized they were broken, he willingly put them in the trash. Before that, we did reduce them to just naptime.
    Zombie Llama likes this.
  8. antisocialite

    antisocialite Chicken

    Jackson had one until almost 4. We tried paci fairy, cold turkey, lots of things. It didn't work and he just wasn't ready (and I honestly didn't give a fuck. Let the kid have comfort). Finally we gave in and paid. a quarter for every night with no paci. That got him toys at Target and it finally stuck.
    The bright side of a paci is you CAN take it away. Thumb sucking, man, they have to keep their thumbs forever and be constantly taunted by their own hand. Rude.
    Fitz, nym711, A. Ham and 1 other person like this.
  9. hellohelloagain

    hellohelloagain Chicken

    @antisocialite That was basically me as a kid. I was a pacifier baby/toddler, and when my mom took it away I just immediately moved on to thumbsucking, which then of course went on for way too long.
  10. antisocialite

    antisocialite Chicken

    My sister was a thumbsucker too. Until she was like...8 or 9? Nothing worked to stop her except time. She did need braces eventually but otherwise she is a mostly normal well adjusted adult. My husband was so worried about getting rid of it and I was like "who cares?" And yeah, if I'm the one that ends up handling the resulting fits then YEAH we do whatever I say, HUSBAND.
  11. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I was also a thumb sucker until 8 or so.
  12. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    “Are you mad at me?”
    The words of a man looking to push his SO’s DETONATE button.
    calicat, ClamJam, Tumnus and 8 others like this.
  13. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Rooster’s in Chicago right now because his dad’s having surgery; fortunately FIL is ok, but it was major surgery, so obviously that’s the biggest deal right now. And because that’s the biggest deal I won’t rag on rooster about this until it’s appropriate.

    My mom’s currently in town and staying here. She’s done pretty close to zero helping out with housework, and I’m truly ok with that, even prefer it. I’ve been cooking as much as I usually do, doing as much laundry, etc. Just to reiterate here, there are two adults and one kid here like there always is.

    It has been SO easy keeping the house clean. So much less time and effort. And I am SO fucking salty that my able-bodied grown up husband makes it harder when it should be the opposite. To his credit, he’s been trying more lately, but even so I feel like I’m on a housework vacation EVEN THOUGH I’M STILL DOING EVERYTHING.
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
  14. ClamJam

    ClamJam Chicken

    I feel you, fish. My rooster is like the Tasmanian devil and it sucks.
    Afishwish likes this.
  15. LouiseBelcher

    LouiseBelcher spampants

    C is too. He's just messy. It all seems to accumulate in piles. He's finally cleaning up all of his junk in the living room and bedroom at least once a week now so I can do the floors and everything. Lately he's been vacuuming and sometimes even doing all of the mopping on the weekend.
    Afishwish likes this.
  16. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    D and C are both off today. Came home for lunch to find D still in his PJ's, tv on, and them fighting about lunch. JFC, go outside. He said this morning he was going to try to clean out the garage. Great! It needs it baaaaaaad. The only things in there that have moved are what I had to dig through this morning to find a snow brush.
    Afishwish likes this.
  17. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Maybe I’m just super sensitive and sleep deprived but if N makes one more smart ass comment I am going to fucking kill him.
  18. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    We’ll post bail
  19. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised but I’m starting to get annoyed with J. I’m turning 30 next week which isn’t a big deal except our birthdays are 4 days apart so since forever I have thrown us basically joint birthday parties. I wanted this one to be more special just for me I guess which might be childish but whatever. We booked a fun localish home away and our friends are coming next weekend. I made it known to both J and friends from the get go that I wasn't cooking or doing anything besides showing up (not in a rude way, just when asked since I usually cook lots of stuff for parties).

    Well now J is saying how we’re playing host so people are expecting me to be more involved and how he needs direction. He says if I want things a certain way I need to help and tell him. I know he’s afraid of disappointing me but I told him as long as there’s food I don’t really care, buy whatever snacks. I told him I don’t have a vision and won’t be disappointed, just get stuff. He’s already planning on smoking a pork shoulder for tacos so like, buy chips and salsa and stuff idgaf.

    I just don’t want to plan my own birthday party and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that he steps up. We’ve been together 10 years, he can guess at what I like.

    Am I wrong for stepping back? Am I trying to fight? We are typically a pretty good team but I’m feeling wobbly on this one now.
  20. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    @scotchbutter I can see both sides. It sounds like from your perspective, it would make you feel really nice, appreciated, and understood if he would take charge and throw you a wonderful party based on the things he knows you like. You don’t want to do work for a party thrown for you, which is fair.

    It sounds like from him, he wants it to go really well and he doesnt want anything to be unacceptable or not the way you would’ve done it. Also fair.

    I would just tell him that he doesn’t need to worry about upsetting you with small details and that whatever he plans, you know it’ll be great. Build up his confidence while also getting what you want.
    Tumnus, Zoomzoom, RoryGilmore and 3 others like this.
  21. deet

    deet Chicken

    But you don't. You've made this clear. I don't see his side on this at all. Like Christ, just step up for fucking once. Who cares if you fuck it up, your wife is asking you to shoulder this. JUST DO IT.

    Obviously, I am with you.
    virgo, hallokween, ClamJam and 9 others like this.
  22. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    WSS. He’s an adult. You have a right to be upset if he can’t act like it for one day.
  23. deet

    deet Chicken

    I hate also that we are made to feel bad (or wrong) for asking for someting that should be a very easy request. That's not fair. Would you feel bad if he asked you to do the same thing? Probably not, you'd just figure it out.
  24. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Thissssss. I feel like sometimes it doesn’t even cross their mind to just do the thing instead of consulting and its like WHY. A this morning was like “my brothers texting me they checked inot our hotel. Can you check us in and pick a room near them or other brother?” Uhm.,,I am clearly busy but YOU COULD DO THAT. He said he wanted my input on the room. Its...a hotel room. Idc.
  25. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    LOL D called me as my therapist was calling me in yesterday to ask how much GC’s he should get for daycare teachers for Christmas because there was one more than he thought. Idk, you can figure this out, BYE.