Klassy brides we know IRL

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by NerdLady, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    Most of my married friends are pretty awesome, but I have a few that I'm surprised aren't on the Bee. For example, friend got engaged in December and she's getting married in October, on a Friday. She's been calling me almost daily to talk about this wedding. I guess she thinks that because I'm getting married soon that I must always want to talk about weddings. I don't want to talk about my own wedding so no, I don't want to talk about hers.

    She's currently pissed because she wants to have a pot luck reception because she can't afford food and no one thinks it's a good idea. Most of her guests are going to have to drive two or three hours to get to the wedding and she also expects them to bring a casserole or no one gets to eat. I suggested a dessert reception, but dammit it's her wedding and she doesn't want to do just dessert. If all you can afford is a cake and some punch, then have cake and punch. No one is going to want to go buy you a gift and make the food for your reception.

    She also has become a fan of sending out a bunch of passive aggressive Facebook messages in regards to those who've said they can't take off work to come.

    Because her wedding is the most important thing ever.
     
    bookgirl14 likes this.
  2. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    I don't know why hosting a party you can afford is such a difficult concept. And I do think that a big part of the problems that people have with weddings in general is treating them like they're somehow different than any other party and that the same social convention doesn't apply. It's just a party. If you're lucky, it won't even be the biggest party you ever throw. Treat it like what it is.
     
  3. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    It makes no sense. If you have $1,000 to spend on your wedding then plan what you can within that budget. She's been expecting all of her family and friends to pitch in here and there to help her cover costs.
     
  4. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Exactly. Plan the wedding you can afford, or wait until you have the money for the kind of party you want. It's that simple.
     
  5. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    And (I'm about to lump your friend into my gross generalization) the people who do this are the ones who also expect that they'll make a profit on their wedding. I will not be surprised at all if you come back in a few months and tell me that your friend is bitching that all those guests who brought casseroles didn't give her cards with cash too. My cousin's wedding was like that. They asked our second cousins to work serving food at this small clubhouse on a lake that they rented for cheap, then had a money tree on the gift table and a money dance during the reception. So tacky. And his mom was complaining that people didn't pay for themselves at the rehearsal dinner. Um, you're the groom's parents and you invited all these people. It's like you're one job to pay for that.
     
  6. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    Someone suggested a JOP wedding and then a vow renewal later, but she has to be seen by a bunch of people.

    I also won't be surprised if she starts complaining about all the money she didn't get. They are basically 22 and 26 year old children. They have never lived alone (she went from living with her parents to living with him and his parents), they don't pay any bills, she's the only one that drives (which is a little ridiculous where we live), at 26, his job at the Dollar Store is his first job ever, he doesn't understand how over drafting works, and she wants to get married so she can omg, have his babiezzzzzz right away. She has this idea that she deserves a wedding and people are obligated to give it to her.
     
  7. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Wait, what?
     
  8. Honey

    Honey Historian Staff Member

    I need clarification on "doesn't understand how over drafting works", because that might be something that would make me not marry someone.
     
  9. kthom

    kthom Cute Food <3 Staff Member

    No joke. Sounds like the the little hamster in his head is dead on the wheel.
     
  10. bluevalentine

    bluevalentine Statler or Waldorf

    This made my day. :lol:
     
  11. bluevalentine

    bluevalentine Statler or Waldorf

    Are their parents rich? Who pays their bills?? Why doesn't he drive? I have so many questions!
     
  12. virgo

    virgo Chicken

    :lol:

    wth. we picked a friday right before christmas for our wedding but we knew by picking that date, some people might not be able to come. surprisingly, everyone came except for 2 people who no showed. FTR, the friday was technically a holiday for most offices so most of our guests didn't have to work that day.
    your friend needs a reality check and a kick in the vagina. i facepalmed reading this. i can't.
     
    bookgirl14 likes this.
  13. bluevalentine

    bluevalentine Statler or Waldorf

    Your friend reminds me of my own klassy bride friend. I've already ranted to the other chickens about her, but she definitely belongs in this thead so here I go again. She and her fiance have been engaged on and off for almost 6 years. They never meant for it to be a long engagement but kept spending all their money so they had none left for a wedding, yet refused to do a JOP wedding. When I told her that O and I were eloping, she flipped out that I was going to be married before her. Well, sorry that we were actually realistic about our finances and the "marrying" part was more important to us than the "wedding" part! And this was three years into their engagement, so it's not like I stole her thunder. Her thunder had died an insignificant death looooong ago.

    They're also just a terrible couple (her fiance is the creepiest douchebag alive) so they're almost always fighting and talking about breaking up. But right now they're in a "good" phase and they're wedding planning again, and their latest idea is having everyone drive 7-8 hours each way to their favorite outdoor spot. It's beautiful but it's a damn campsite. Nobody wants her to marry this guy, and she's really alienated a lot of friends over the years (mostly because of her fiance) so I doubt many people will be willing to make the trip.
     
  14. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    His parents aren't rich by any means. From what I know friend, her fiancé, fiance's sister, and her current boyfriend all live in the same house with his parents. Friend and fiance are the two younger people that work. I know that his mom works, but not very often. Fiance doesn't drive because he's "terrified" to drive, which I could understand if they lived in a huge city or he had a bad experience driving. Nope. He just doesn't want the responsibility. His life goal is to live with mom and his wife forever in the same house while they take care of him.
     
  15. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    He apparently opened a checking account last year and never actually kept up with it. He was like, omg, shocked, when the bank told him that he over drew his account and owed around $300. This was a foreign concept to him, and so he's been scrounging around trying to pay it off so he can close the account ASAP. The funny thing is, that friend doesn't understand this super hard concept either, since bank is just one big meanie head for charging her lovely fiancé for over drafting. Since it's the bank's responsibility to keep up with his spending and not something he, as an adult, should be doing for himself.
     
  16. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    .... How did you meet her?
     
  17. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    Her stepdad used to own a lawn service company and he came to my parent's house a few times when our lawnmower broke down. She came with him one time and we started hanging out all the time after that. We were in, oh, second grade? She has always been one of those types that just wants to get married. She's been "engaged" to around 3 other people since I've known her, but this is the first one that's included actual wedding plans. The guy is a loser, but she's so desperate to join the married club that it doesn't matter. It's sad, because she really feels like if she's not married, then her life is over.
     
  18. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Well. You certainly win.

    I posted a while ago about a bride on my FB feed who complained ON Facebook about having to write thank yous for her gifts after the engagement party. She also had a Jack and Jill (the kind that's a fundraiser for the wedding) and a shower. Hopefully those thank you notes are less burdensome.
     
  19. ashless987

    ashless987 Chicken

    One of the girls I grew up with is refusing to get married unless her father gives her a $50k wedding.
    She also turned down her fiance the first time, because the diamond wasn't big enough.
    She's a winner.
     
  20. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    If I were her daddy, I'd say fine, don't get married.
     
  21. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    There was a second time after being turned down for such a stupid and narcissistic? He's just as big of an idiot then. That's going to be a fun marriage.
     
  22. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    :roll:
     
  23. NerdLady

    NerdLady Chicken

    I don't get why people get their panties in a wad over thank you notes. People took the time to buy you something and come to your party, but you can't be bothered to write a few lines on a card?
     
  24. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    But OMG NerdLady, thank you notes are hard! And great aunt Ethel gave me a ceramic rooster that I hate and I wish I just got cash moneyyyyyyyyy
     
  25. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I am a Klassy bride.

    I never sent thank you notes. I wrote them, thought I sent them, and then found them sometime after my first anniversary. It just seemed like too little, too late to send them then.
     

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