Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    A 4 year old trick-or-treater: “I like your house! It’s kind of messy!” :lol:
     
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  2. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    "I love you, D."
    D, whispers "yeah."
     
  3. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    This has happened a few times recently, but as an example:

    I’m changing A and she starts coughing.
    A: water!
    Me: Ok sweetie, go get your water.
    A: Ok sweetie.
     
  4. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch Staff Member

    Watching old Destiny’s Child music videos with J. He says Beyoncé is his favorite of the three.

    TT: She’s the best one. That’s why we call her Queen Bey.
    J: Who’s Queen A?
     
  5. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    We're visiting my dad and grampie this weekend, and taking Connor to church on Sunday. When I told him that, he responded, "See Pops talk!"
     
  6. deet

    deet Chicken

    So G has been frequently urinating the past couple of days. Ped thought it could be constipation but said to take him to get his urine checked—so I took him to urgent care last night.

    Very young doctor walks in, obviously a little hesitant and shy. Said results were clear, talked about symptoms. Anyways, he asks G to lie down and he does. Checks his abdomen and then asks G if it’s okay to check his penis.

    “Yeah, just don’t sock me in the penis, okay?”

    that doctor tried desperately to hold it together and we looked at each other and just busted out laughing like, I was in tears.

    Where do kids come up with this shit???? Lmao
     
  7. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I think he set a reasonable boundary. Good job, G.
     
  8. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    I have no idea where she learned this, but A just climbed up on husband while they were playing, grabbed his nose, and said “honk your nose!” Hahahaha :lol:
     
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  9. virgo

    virgo Chicken

  10. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    Me: oh no did that hurt?

    M: I need a new face mom.
     
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  11. LouiseBelcher

    LouiseBelcher spampants

    My friend's have a little one, G, who is 3. He put some little rocks in his ear yesterday. He went to the emergency room lastnight and they could only get one out. They gave him versed though and that was worthy of some great video. Today they came to my ENT clinic. I asked G what happened and he said he had no idea. I asked him if there are rocks in his ear and he got very close and whispered that they are pretend rocks. I asked him if he is going to let the doctor take a look at the pretend rocks and he said "not if they are in my bubble!" He is very protective of his personal space... and his rocks. They couldn't get it out so into the OR he goes in the morning.
     
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  12. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    We were eating froyo and S forgot that she likes maraschino cherries and didnt put any in hers, so I gave her one of mine to remind her. Then she wanted more, but I told her it was mine and I wasn't giving her all of them! I later dropped another into her bowl and she said "Bingo! That's what I'm talkin' about." :lol: i don't know where she gets that from but it's definitely not me lol
     
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  13. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    She was playing, giving the characters the names of CCD and Chuck E Cheese. When i tried to suggest other names, like CTown or Dairy Queen, she said "No, I just want these teenager names." I guess I'll be seeing you guys over in the baby names thread in ~25-30 years....
     
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  14. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    C looooooves birthdays and saying happy birthday.

    Me: “Knox’s birthdays today and mommy’s birthdays tomorrow!”
    C: Happy Birthday Snox!
    Me: “What are you gonna get me for my birthday?”
    C: A bus!
    Me: Wow a bus?
    C: Yea! C get one too!

    :lol: Not EXACTLY how that works
     
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  15. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    Lolll
     
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  16. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    My C loves birthdays too. We saw his cousin G this weekend (my cousin's son) who turned 4, and I told C that it was G's birthday. "G wear birthday hat?"

    He also thought that BIL and SIL's housewarming party was their birthday party, and I could not convince him otherwise.
     
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  17. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C always wants to get us toys for our birthdays. What could be better?
     
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  18. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    *Watching Shrek*

    “... please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your... face. Duloc is a perfect place!”

    P: Heh. They almost said butt. Heheh.
     
  19. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    A, C’s bff tonight: “Me and C are going to get married but don’t worry we’ll have a house and you can live with us and we’ll get big toothbrushes for you.”
     
  20. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Im dyyyyying. J and S are reading in her room but the baby monitor is on. He keeps farting and S is not having it.

    S "you're terrifying."

    J "I don't think you know what that means."

    S " well it doesn't smell like anything good. Blech."
     
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  21. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Workshop leader: And some people even think that Shakespeare's plays may have been written by Marlowe instead.

    9 year old, with authority: Um, no.
     
  22. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    A has finally decided to start saying please when asking for something! I’ve been so excited about it that I usually say yes to encourage him to keep saying it (and because it’s so damn cute), but now he’s figured out he can say please when asking for no-no’s which makes me feel very conflicted, lol. Clever, son, very clever.
     
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  23. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    I haven't worn tights much yet this season because stubborn New Englander. Wore them today, and was getting C ready for daycare. He was fascinated. I think he thought my legs magically changed color. :lol:
     
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  24. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C always thinks they’re super weird too!
     
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  25. deet

    deet Chicken

    As a follow up to the "sock me in the penis" comment, I realized yesterday on the way to the doctor that G was saying shock, not sock. Shock = shot. He was worried about getting a vaccine to the penis, since he'd recently had them at his regular well-visit.

    On the way to the ped, he asked me if he was "gonna get a shock" and it all made sense.
     

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