Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    Watching old Destiny’s Child music videos with J. He says Beyoncé is his favorite of the three.

    TT: She’s the best one. That’s why we call her Queen Bey.
    J: Who’s Queen A?
  2. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    We're visiting my dad and grampie this weekend, and taking Connor to church on Sunday. When I told him that, he responded, "See Pops talk!"
  3. deet

    deet Chicken

    So G has been frequently urinating the past couple of days. Ped thought it could be constipation but said to take him to get his urine checked—so I took him to urgent care last night.

    Very young doctor walks in, obviously a little hesitant and shy. Said results were clear, talked about symptoms. Anyways, he asks G to lie down and he does. Checks his abdomen and then asks G if it’s okay to check his penis.

    “Yeah, just don’t sock me in the penis, okay?”

    that doctor tried desperately to hold it together and we looked at each other and just busted out laughing like, I was in tears.

    Where do kids come up with this shit???? Lmao
  4. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    I think he set a reasonable boundary. Good job, G.
  5. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    I have no idea where she learned this, but A just climbed up on husband while they were playing, grabbed his nose, and said “honk your nose!” Hahahaha :lol:
    moose, Fitz, Kimmers and 8 others like this.
  6. virgo

    virgo Chicken

  7. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    Me: oh no did that hurt?

    M: I need a new face mom.
    moose, virgo, Apples&Oranges and 9 others like this.
  8. LouiseBelcher

    LouiseBelcher spampants

    My friend's have a little one, G, who is 3. He put some little rocks in his ear yesterday. He went to the emergency room lastnight and they could only get one out. They gave him versed though and that was worthy of some great video. Today they came to my ENT clinic. I asked G what happened and he said he had no idea. I asked him if there are rocks in his ear and he got very close and whispered that they are pretend rocks. I asked him if he is going to let the doctor take a look at the pretend rocks and he said "not if they are in my bubble!" He is very protective of his personal space... and his rocks. They couldn't get it out so into the OR he goes in the morning.
    Tumnus likes this.
  9. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    We were eating froyo and S forgot that she likes maraschino cherries and didnt put any in hers, so I gave her one of mine to remind her. Then she wanted more, but I told her it was mine and I wasn't giving her all of them! I later dropped another into her bowl and she said "Bingo! That's what I'm talkin' about." :lol: i don't know where she gets that from but it's definitely not me lol
    moose, virgo, fantasynerd and 12 others like this.
  10. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    She was playing, giving the characters the names of CCD and Chuck E Cheese. When i tried to suggest other names, like CTown or Dairy Queen, she said "No, I just want these teenager names." I guess I'll be seeing you guys over in the baby names thread in ~25-30 years....
    deet, Fitz, hallokween and 3 others like this.
  11. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    C looooooves birthdays and saying happy birthday.

    Me: “Knox’s birthdays today and mommy’s birthdays tomorrow!”
    C: Happy Birthday Snox!
    Me: “What are you gonna get me for my birthday?”
    C: A bus!
    Me: Wow a bus?
    C: Yea! C get one too!

    :lol: Not EXACTLY how that works
    deet, shiba shake, virgo and 10 others like this.
  12. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    whatchyagonnado likes this.
  13. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    My C loves birthdays too. We saw his cousin G this weekend (my cousin's son) who turned 4, and I told C that it was G's birthday. "G wear birthday hat?"

    He also thought that BIL and SIL's housewarming party was their birthday party, and I could not convince him otherwise.
    deet, virgo, shakespeer and 5 others like this.
  14. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C always wants to get us toys for our birthdays. What could be better?
    deet, MagnificentCat, Fitz and 5 others like this.
  15. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    *Watching Shrek*

    “... please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your... face. Duloc is a perfect place!”

    P: Heh. They almost said butt. Heheh.
  16. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    A, C’s bff tonight: “Me and C are going to get married but don’t worry we’ll have a house and you can live with us and we’ll get big toothbrushes for you.”
  17. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Im dyyyyying. J and S are reading in her room but the baby monitor is on. He keeps farting and S is not having it.

    S "you're terrifying."

    J "I don't think you know what that means."

    S " well it doesn't smell like anything good. Blech."
    Fitz, deet, shiba shake and 9 others like this.
  18. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Workshop leader: And some people even think that Shakespeare's plays may have been written by Marlowe instead.

    9 year old, with authority: Um, no.
  19. Rico Suave

    Rico Suave Chicken

    A has finally decided to start saying please when asking for something! I’ve been so excited about it that I usually say yes to encourage him to keep saying it (and because it’s so damn cute), but now he’s figured out he can say please when asking for no-no’s which makes me feel very conflicted, lol. Clever, son, very clever.
    nym711, MagnificentCat, Fitz and 10 others like this.
  20. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    I haven't worn tights much yet this season because stubborn New Englander. Wore them today, and was getting C ready for daycare. He was fascinated. I think he thought my legs magically changed color. :lol:
    deet, virgo, hallokween and 10 others like this.
  21. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C always thinks they’re super weird too!
    hallokween and Fitz like this.
  22. deet

    deet Chicken

    As a follow up to the "sock me in the penis" comment, I realized yesterday on the way to the doctor that G was saying shock, not sock. Shock = shot. He was worried about getting a vaccine to the penis, since he'd recently had them at his regular well-visit.

    On the way to the ped, he asked me if he was "gonna get a shock" and it all made sense.
  23. shakespeer

    shakespeer Basic Pirate Lesbian Aesthete

    You can tell him that your internet doctor friend promises we don’t vaccinate penises.

    Dickheads, on the other hand, should get their flu shots just like everyone else.
    Tumnus, hallokween, Aw Pigley and 3 others like this.
  24. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    This morning, I was cuddling in bed with C while G was getting ready for work. In doing so, he cast a shadow on the wall. C asked what it was, and we explained it was G’s shadow. G took this as a cue to make shadow puppets, which C loved. After a bird and a dog, C very enthusiastically said “Do Elmo!”
    Lucyinthesky, Fitz, Tumnus and 13 others like this.
  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    C: This Daddy's room!
    Me: Bud, this is the bathroom.
    C: No, this Daddy's room!