Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    That’s hilarious. Now it will forever be “sippy” in my mind.
     
  2. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    I can finally start contributing to this thread lol!

    I was in the kitchen this morning and heard this clicking noise so I look over and A had opened my husband’s laptop on the side table and was pretend typing on the keyboard. I asked what she was doing and she said “work” hahaha.
     
  3. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Every time I go to the bathroom lately C chases after me “Helping! I’m helping!” And he cries if I won’t let him in the bathroom to “help” me. I have tried to explain I am actually pretty good at peeing without help but to no avail :lol:
     
  4. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C used to say “good job mommy!” whenever I peed.
     
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  5. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Yeah C likes to accompany me to the bathroom too. He tries to look into the toilet and says "Mommy peeing!"
     
  6. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    There have been many tantrums when I forget to let D flush for me :roll:
     
  7. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    Whenever I’d go, E would ask me if I was going pee and poop. If I said I wasn’t pooping, she’d go “You’re doing your best!”
     
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  8. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    I wish I was as consistently funny as E.
     
    virgo, Apples&Oranges, A. Ham and 8 others like this.
  9. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    Well, she’s recently started telling “jokes”, and lemme tell ya, her actual attempts at humour leaves much to be desired :lol:
     
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  10. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    @Dorothygale Don’t leave us hangin’. What’s her best/worst joke?
     
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  11. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    They can barely be considered jokes lol. Today’s was while she was washing her hands with purple soap -

    E: do you think this soap smells like blueberries, or like grapes? Or does it smell like...grape blueberries? Get it?? Get it, mommy? Hahahhahaha! I’m just joking, it’s just a joke!

    I think she’s aiming for a pun, except she doesn’t know wtf a pun is lol. Essentially, she thinks that as long as she goes “get it, get it??” that it’s instantly a joke. I’ll let you know when we get into the world of knock knocks.
     
  12. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Oh that will be a truly glorious day
     
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  13. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    We had a new babysitter for an afternoon, I came home and as soon as I opened the car door I could hear S inside just completely losing it.

    She had flushed the toilet. Kids are great.
     
    Fitz likes this.
  14. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    The big toddler trend here is shutting doors. I think C’s first full sentence was, “I shut the door!” Whenever I pick her up from daycare, there’s a mob of like, three aggressive toddlers fighting by the door to be the one who gets to shut the door behind me.
     
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  15. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch Staff Member

    For those atheists wondering how it’s gonna go ...

    J: Mom, was it Jesus or God who died and came back three days later?
    TT: That’s a story they tell about Jesus, but it’s not true. People don’t come back after they die. Once you die that’s it.
    J: Can I tell M that story about Jesus?
    TT: No, because it’s scary and confusing. And some people believe in those stories than they believe in science. Like they believe in Jesus more than dinosaurs, that have skeletons that come from the earth that we can see.

    Jesus vs. dinosaurs, he’s gonna go dinosaurs.
     
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  16. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    I'm filing that one away for later.
     
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  17. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    Rooster was poking fun at me in the car the other day, saying "whoaaa, whoa now" like I was going too fast as I went around curves (we go through two sets of S-bends up to our lane).

    Today I had C-rex in the car and went around a tight curve at a pretty good speed and I get a "WHOA" from the backseat.

    THANKS ROOSTER, you taught him to backseat drive!
     
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  18. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    My friends 6 year old said “that was your choice” her while her 4yo was having a meltdown.
     
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  19. Comet

    Comet Chicken

    Savage.
     
  20. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    C keeps walking around “All done Monday! ALL DONE MONDAY!” I feel ya kid.
     
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  21. DaleBrennan

    DaleBrennan Chicken

    When I woke O up this morning I said, it's Monday, time for school! And he said yeah! And then it's gonna be Friday!!
    :lol: I wish!
     
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  22. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    A toots and laughs.
    Me: what do we say when we toot?
    A: poop your pants!

    :lol: thanks for that dad hahaha
     
  23. deet

    deet Chicken

    So we call M Moos or Moo Moos all the time, have since he was born. Naturally he's a cow this year, but he hates his costume.

    G has no idea what this actually is, but he quipped "He's a mad cow!"
     
  24. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    We carved C’s pumpkin last night. I let him draw everything and I helped him carve it. It’s a pumpkin who is sad because he has no teeth and his family isn’t with him. That’s why he has so many eyes with tears.
     
  25. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Well that's adorably heartbreaking.
     

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