Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    C used to say “good job mommy!” whenever I peed.
    Pickles, MagnificentCat, Fitz and 5 others like this.
  2. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Yeah C likes to accompany me to the bathroom too. He tries to look into the toilet and says "Mommy peeing!"
  3. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    There have been many tantrums when I forget to let D flush for me :roll:
  4. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    Whenever I’d go, E would ask me if I was going pee and poop. If I said I wasn’t pooping, she’d go “You’re doing your best!”
    android, Tumnus, virgo and 11 others like this.
  5. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    I wish I was as consistently funny as E.
    virgo, Apples&Oranges, A. Ham and 8 others like this.
  6. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    Well, she’s recently started telling “jokes”, and lemme tell ya, her actual attempts at humour leaves much to be desired :lol:
    TaterTot, Tumnus, Roo and 8 others like this.
  7. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    @Dorothygale Don’t leave us hangin’. What’s her best/worst joke?
    Fitz likes this.
  8. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    They can barely be considered jokes lol. Today’s was while she was washing her hands with purple soap -

    E: do you think this soap smells like blueberries, or like grapes? Or does it smell like...grape blueberries? Get it?? Get it, mommy? Hahahhahaha! I’m just joking, it’s just a joke!

    I think she’s aiming for a pun, except she doesn’t know wtf a pun is lol. Essentially, she thinks that as long as she goes “get it, get it??” that it’s instantly a joke. I’ll let you know when we get into the world of knock knocks.
  9. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Oh that will be a truly glorious day
    TaterTot and RoryGilmore like this.
  10. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    We had a new babysitter for an afternoon, I came home and as soon as I opened the car door I could hear S inside just completely losing it.

    She had flushed the toilet. Kids are great.
    Fitz likes this.
  11. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    The big toddler trend here is shutting doors. I think C’s first full sentence was, “I shut the door!” Whenever I pick her up from daycare, there’s a mob of like, three aggressive toddlers fighting by the door to be the one who gets to shut the door behind me.
    Fitz, android, DaleBrennan and 4 others like this.
  12. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch

    For those atheists wondering how it’s gonna go ...

    J: Mom, was it Jesus or Jeff Goldblum who died and came back three days later?
    TT: That’s a story they tell about Jesus, but it’s not true. People don’t come back after they die. Once you die that’s it.
    J: Can I tell M that story about Jesus?
    TT: No, because it’s scary and confusing. And some people believe in those stories than they believe in science. Like they believe in Jesus more than dinosaurs, that have skeletons that come from the earth that we can see.

    Jesus vs. dinosaurs, he’s gonna go dinosaurs.
    Fitz, Tumnus, virgo and 6 others like this.
  13. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    I'm filing that one away for later.
    Tumnus and TaterTot like this.
  14. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    Rooster was poking fun at me in the car the other day, saying "whoaaa, whoa now" like I was going too fast as I went around curves (we go through two sets of S-bends up to our lane).

    Today I had C-rex in the car and went around a tight curve at a pretty good speed and I get a "WHOA" from the backseat.

    THANKS ROOSTER, you taught him to backseat drive!
    shiba shake, Fitz, Aw Pigley and 9 others like this.
  15. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    My friends 6 year old said “that was your choice” her while her 4yo was having a meltdown.
    hallokween, virgo, A. Ham and 7 others like this.
  16. Comet

    Comet Instigator

  17. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    C keeps walking around “All done Monday! ALL DONE MONDAY!” I feel ya kid.
    MagnificentCat, deet, virgo and 14 others like this.
  18. DaleBrennan

    DaleBrennan Chicken

    When I woke O up this morning I said, it's Monday, time for school! And he said yeah! And then it's gonna be Friday!!
    :lol: I wish!
    deet, virgo, Tumnus and 6 others like this.
  19. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    A toots and laughs.
    Me: what do we say when we toot?
    A: poop your pants!

    :lol: thanks for that dad hahaha
  20. deet

    deet Chicken

    So we call M Moos or Moo Moos all the time, have since he was born. Naturally he's a cow this year, but he hates his costume.

    G has no idea what this actually is, but he quipped "He's a mad cow!"
  21. CoolWife

    CoolWife Chicken

    We carved C’s pumpkin last night. I let him draw everything and I helped him carve it. It’s a pumpkin who is sad because he has no teeth and his family isn’t with him. That’s why he has so many eyes with tears.
  22. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

    Well that's adorably heartbreaking.
  23. scotchbutter

    scotchbutter Chicken

    A 4 year old trick-or-treater: “I like your house! It’s kind of messy!” :lol:
    ClamJam, shakespeer, deet and 11 others like this.
  24. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    "I love you, D."
    D, whispers "yeah."
  25. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    This has happened a few times recently, but as an example:

    I’m changing A and she starts coughing.
    A: water!
    Me: Ok sweetie, go get your water.
    A: Ok sweetie.