Kids say the darnedest things

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by CoolWife, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. Fitz

    Fitz Leslie Knope Monster

  2. Pickles

    Pickles Chicken

    Yesterday while I was putting my makeup on, M wanted me to come with him in the bathroom while he pooped.

    So I get my BB cream on my face in blobs and then he tells me he needs a wipe so I stop and bend down to him.
    He touched my face so tenderly, looks me dead in the eye so concerned and goes, “butter?”

    My child thinks I put butter on my face.
    Roo, virgo, ClamJam and 19 others like this.
  3. hallokween

    hallokween Chicken

  4. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch Staff Member

    "Remember Me" from Coco is playing on Pandora . . .

    J: Do you like this song? I like it. It makes me think of all the people I love, starting with you.

    *sob* *sob* *sob*

    How is this human mine?
    Chevere, shiba shake, moose and 18 others like this.
  5. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    Me: Okay kiddo, after you put on PJs, I’m going to read you two books.
    C: 3 books.
    Me: Ha! Okay! Sold. Three books.
    C (amazed her bargaining worked): 15!
    Tumnus, BigFatGoalie, A. Ham and 21 others like this.
  6. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    Lol testing her limits :lol:

    Today D was kind of pouty faced and I told him he was cute. Then I asked him if I was cute.

    "No, me."

    Which idk, I guess to me is just extra funny because of his delayed expressive vocabulary.
    Fitz, ClamJam, Tumnus and 3 others like this.
  7. Aw Pigley

    Aw Pigley Chicken

    Fitz, Tumnus, deet and 11 others like this.
  8. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

  9. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Rooster had a chip clip on his nose.
    “Do I have something on my nose?!”
    “Yeah. Boogers.”
  10. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Neighbor kid introducing his family to P and Ryder:
    I'm Aaron. This is my sister Belle. This is my dad. His name is Dad.
  11. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    C wasn’t really listening to us and started acting up a little before bed.

    G: Come on, C. Do you want to act like a big girl or a baby?
    C: A baby!

    Heh. Plan backfired.
  12. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    Don’t ask questions you might not like the answer to.
    Tumnus and A. Ham like this.
  13. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Adorable maybe-5-year-old boy: What’s that on your face?

    :bored: Thanks kid. It’s acne/zits/pimples.
    Afishwish likes this.
  14. whatchyagonnado

    whatchyagonnado Chicken

    Happy by Pharrell came on today on shuffle on the way home from art class and C kept asking for it again when it’d turn off. When we got home we did a dance party to it and every time it’d stop he’d say “MORE HAPPY PEASE! Happy dance mommy!” So cute haha

    (Although I will probably sing this to sleep tonight).
  15. Afishwish

    Afishwish Bramblebutt

    You are blessed, friend. The current song on infinity loop in our house is “Sexy and I Know it”. o_O
    whatchyagonnado, Tumnus and megatron like this.
  16. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    A kid was bopping down an aisle at Target singing that Fish, I cracked up.

    We're on "Honey I'm Good" at the house right now. Even E goes "mah baby"
  17. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    I had a kid at school today trying to sing Old Town Road, but he had zero clue of any of the lyrics and it was really cute :lol:
  18. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Could also go in Overheard:

    Kid in the Principals office: When I’m older I’m gonna say bad words because I’ll have responsibilit... responsibilit... I’ll have responsibilities!
    Afishwish, hallokween, Tumnus and 5 others like this.
  19. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Five year old to his mom who is on a liquid diet: The cheesecake looked too good not to get! But don't worry, Mommy, you can lick my spoon.
    Afishwish, TaterTot, virgo and 7 others like this.
  20. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Kiddo to Lucy while I was running a 5k this morning: “Why are you so lazy?” :lol:
    Afishwish, TaterTot, Tumnus and 9 others like this.
  21. HBC

    HBC Chicken

    TaterTot and Canaligator like this.
  22. Tumnus

    Tumnus Chicken

    "Can you get me milk? All that Blippi watchin' made me thirsty." What a rough life he leads.
    Afishwish, moose, deet and 15 others like this.
  23. TaterTot

    TaterTot Rulebitch Staff Member

    All that Blippi watchin’. Lololololllllll
    Tumnus likes this.
  24. Apples&Oranges

    Apples&Oranges Chicken

    S wearing a unicorn helmet and crawling around, pretending to rear up and such. "Do you want to take a video of me in slow motion?"

    Me: "why does it have to be slow motion?"

    "Because I'm going to be too fast."
  25. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    We’ve had a few storms in the last week, so the other day I taught E how to count ‘Mississippi’ between the lightning and thunder to track how far away it is. Last night there was a flash of lightning:

    E: we need to count the sippy cups!
    Me: the sippy cups?
    E: yeah! One sippy, two sippy, three sippy...
    Pickles, Tumnus, Fitz and 16 others like this.

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