Generic wedding questions thread

Discussion in 'Free Range' started by allmaple, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Yes, in that case, then I think you are fine to ask people any time after you have a date and a venue.
     
  2. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    We made the very poor choice of picking friends that we'd semi-recently gotten very close with. They started ghosting us 6 months after the wedding. I have a lot of resentment seeing them in our wedding photos. But in your case I think you should be safe from that and at least you have many years of history if not.
     
  3. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    It was immediately after we got engaged (at least for me, A might have waited even though he knew who he was asking because men tend to do that). For me it was my sister and two long time best friends (from birth and junior high). So it wasn’t even asking so much as confirming since we all knew it would be them.
     
  4. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    I had 4 bridesmaids and asked them as soon as we had our venue and date sorted out. We got engaged in a December and married the following November so that was all sorted within 2 weeks of getting engaged.
     
    Canaligator likes this.
  5. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    I think we will ask after the venue is booked. I was chatting with my brothers fiancée about it and mentioned possibly waiting until after their wedding and she asked if that was because we were trying not to steal thunder and then said they seriously didn't care if that was the case.

    We are each having 6. My three best friends likely already assume I am asking them. The others will be my 3 sisters in law. They may not assume but I also don't worry about asking them early and having a falling out with them.
     
  6. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    I have started contacting venues and it is already frustrating me.

    I have sent an email with very basic information. I provide our wedding date, number of guests and a few basic things we are looking for and ask if they are accepting meetings/tours currently and if their venue meets our requirements. I have vetted a few just through information on their websites but a lot of them do not have specific figures listed.

    So far, it appears that the general rule is for venues to respond immediately with a WALL of text about their sites. One that I just got had so much info it was hard to read through it but eventually I found a paragraph that indicated they had two different rooms available and our numbers don't work for either. Each room has a minimum and maximum guest count and our number is literally in between the max on the small and minimum on the large. But even with that, they sent me that wall of text and indicated our date was available. I wrote back and pointed out that our numbers don't seem to work with what they've given me.

    So now they have moved on to calling me.
     
  7. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Oh ugh, that's annoying.
     
  8. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Ugh, sorry.
     
  9. Comet

    Comet Instigator

    I'm guessing they charge per head and want to try to talk you into to paying the minimum on the larger space?
     
    Lh718 and megatron like this.
  10. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith Staff Member

    They may still allow smaller groups into the larger room, but they could have a minimum food/drink cost requirement for that room.

    The venue we used had room minimums so we just picked a more expensive meal to ensure we met the minimum (and at least got our money’s worth, since we would have to pay that minimum either way).
     
  11. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    That is my guess as well. They are trying to get us to come for a tour and fall in love with the place so we can pay the difference to get into the bigger room.

    If it was one of the top ones on our list I may have gone along with it, but there are others we are more excited about plus it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It feels kind of shady.

    After she called she sent me another email asking me to call her back. I responded and said that I was unable to call while at work and considering our number doesn't fit into either room I wasn't expecting to carry through with a tour. She responded to that and told me to call after 7pm
     
  12. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Yikes, that is super pushy and inappropriate. I would not respond any further.
     
  13. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Its like insurance agents when looking for a quote, harass the hell out of you until you buy then ghost when you need them.
     
    yesmaster likes this.
  14. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    TG and I have toured 4 venues. We both liked the first one but didn't have a "this is it" moment with it. The second one was beautiful but way too expensive. The third was super ugly and disappointing. The last I liked quite a bit but TG wasn't a fan.

    I feel like I am having to play detective trying to figure out what each of these venues will cost. People have told me to ask a lot of questions and specifically to ask about the cost of things but I genuinely don't know how to go about that. How can I anticipate and ask for a quote on a secret hidden fee when I don't even know what it might be?

    The place that we like the most so far does not do everything on site. So I will need to do my best estimates based on quotes from their vendors as well. This is not ideal, but it seems to be the way for a lot of venues in our area. I am going to contact a few other places for tours but I also don't want to keep looking forever. There are HUNDREDS of venues in Toronto and every single day people tell me that I just "have" to look up such and such a venue that they know about.

    (Is it too late to just elope?)
     
  15. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    No.
     
    ClamJam, A. Ham, Comet and 8 others like this.
  16. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    It is never too late to just elope. As far as planning, our venue also had basically nothing onsite (art museum). When I contacted the caterer, they priced out all the other stuff (tables, napkins, glassware etc). So that helped!
     
  17. Chevere

    Chevere Chicken

    Nope. Highly recommend
     
    Lh718 likes this.
  18. fantasynerd

    fantasynerd Extra Extra

    Are there any helpful Toronto-area wedding planning groups that you could go to for suggestions/venues that are likely to work for your overall budget?
     
    yesmaster likes this.
  19. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    That is a good thought. I wonder if there are forums or a facebook group or something? I will dig around
     
  20. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    My caterer also did a lot of the legwork for me, which was great because he got cheaper rates on things like rentals and whatnot than I would have independently.
     
    Canaligator likes this.
  21. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    @yesmaster I am more than willing to look at the proposed contract and point out any hidden traps. Not a lawyer but I have a bunch of experience with events, restaurants, hotels, etc. Also, our venue provided practically nothing - we had to bring nearly everything in.
     
    yesmaster likes this.
  22. yesmaster

    yesmaster North of the Boarder

    Yes please! Thank you
     
    Zombie Llama likes this.
  23. Chevere

    Chevere Chicken

    How far out does one need to do alterations?
     
  24. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    I started mine 3 months out
     
  25. Zombie Llama

    Zombie Llama Ain't no corn bitch

    I did mine three weeks out. But I don't think that is the norm.