Family: The Gift You Can’t Return

Discussion in 'The Hens' Nest' started by Scout, Jul 11, 2014.

  1. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    Ugh hard no to that. Good for N for having your back at least.
  2. hellohelloagain

    hellohelloagain Chicken

    Your baby is still so little and you had a kind of traumatic start with her... wtf is she thinking?!?
    Lh718, A. Ham, scotchbutter and 2 others like this.
  3. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    Ugh she’s the worst in general but THIS is another level. These MILs who only value their grandchildren as photo ops and don’t consider their needs or their parents’ needs are going to break me.
    Fitz, shiba shake, Lh718 and 5 others like this.
  4. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    People can be SO clueless when you have a new baby and I feel like it’s much worse if they have kids of their own but NOT young kids. People without kids seem to go out of their way to be super considerate. People with young kids are still in the trenches themselves and they (mostly) get it. People with adult children have that awful combination of clueless/selective memory combined with the “I raised my kids and they’re okay therefore I know it all” over confidence.
  5. Kimmers

    Kimmers Chicken

    Like I guarantee MIL would not have been so cavalier about leaving her newborn either but she’s mentally rewritten history to justify pressuring you... gross.
  6. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    Nope. You can’t. Signed, lady who had a 12-week-old more recently than your selfish MIL.
    Fitz, Lh718, MagnificentCat and 7 others like this.
  7. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    I mean, this is also the lady who got mad when I kicked her out of the hospital room so I could work with lactation.
  8. ClamJam

    ClamJam Chicken

    @fantasynerd major hell to the no. Traveling is stressful, who knows what your recovery will be like, and babby will still be so smol and planes are germy.

    @Canaligator Your MIL is so exhausting, what an emotional chupacabra.

    @Dorothygale I would not have opened the door at 9am unless there was coffee, bagels, and like Beyonce or something. You are a saint.

    @moose I think your MIL needs to call me so I can correct herself before she wrecks herself.
  9. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

  10. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    Yup. Unfair because my mom got to stay in the room and MIL only “just got there”. N warned her before coming that she would likely need to leave the room frequently but I guess that’s not fair.
  11. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    Good on you for holding firm. I had a family the other day where the grandmother just had to hold and cuddle baby. Okay, but I also just told them that baby's temp was low and needed skin to skin with multiple blankets on top. They would do it, but guess who had the baby again when I'd come back in to check progress? Baby ended up spending quality time with her nurse in the nursery under the warmer after 2 hours of low temps. Fuckers.
  12. Dorothygale

    Dorothygale Chicken

    My in-laws just whipped out two drives of photos from their trip. As an extra special treat, they have also uploaded the pictures from the same trip they took in the 80’s so we can compare.

    oh, and when they saw we were starting to make dinner they asked if we were going to wait for SIL and her husband.
    Rooster: they’re not coming
    MIL: oh, they couldn’t make it?
    Rooster: I don’t know, I never invited them
  13. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken


    I hope you have wine.
  14. Lh718

    Lh718 Chicken

    So "just us" wasn't really what they had in mind. Wow.
    Kimmers and Zoomzoom like this.
  15. Zoomzoom

    Zoomzoom Old Curmudgeon

    No DG's ILs. No.
  16. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    Thirty minutes into a visit with my dad, he gets into a debate with G about.... Cardi B. Which, what.

    They’re into politics now. C and I are cuddled up upstairs, listening to Enya and staying out of it. Thank Jeff Goldblum I quit Sober October, since I need beer(s).
    Dorothygale, ClamJam, nym711 and 12 others like this.
  17. moose

    moose RINGWORM GIRL :(

    I just need to put this in the burn book because it’s taking everything in me not to go off on N’s dad. A
    Please tell me if I’m being unreasonable here.

    FIL texted N today that N’s aunt is coming down from North FLA and plans to see E on Sunday. Except for one thing... she is antivax and has refused all vaccinations since she turned 18. FIL wants to know if she can still see E but not hold her. N told him no.

    Cue giant text saying that flu and TDAP are elective and don’t put E at risk. How do we guarantee that everyone in the MD waiting room has the vaccinations? How do we guarantee the nurses have them? Why are we being unreasonable????

    uhhh I have a premature infant with a slew of medical issues and we just got dischArged from the hospital. Pretty sure I don’t give a fuck if aunt keeps her distance, my baby isn’t going there.
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2019
  18. T-Rex

    T-Rex Chicken

    You are not being unreasonable. FIL may be correct that you cant guarantee 100% that she wont be exposed at some point, but you sure as shit get to decide how to minimize your risk so they can STFU.
    Dorothygale, Fitz, Tumnus and 17 others like this.
  19. Canaligator

    Canaligator Barbie Police

    THIS and also fuck him for pushing this at all.
    Fitz, Lh718, scotchbutter and 8 others like this.
  20. Imabug1002

    Imabug1002 Chick pee

    Tell him she elected not to get them and you're electing to not allow people you know don't have said vaccines around your baby. It's amazing how personal choice works. Not unreasonable at all.
  21. RoryGilmore

    RoryGilmore Chicken

    Your call is the one that matters — forget what N’s dad has to say. She chose to be antivax, you (very smartly) chose not to let your baby around unvaccinated people. Sucks she can’t see the baby, but tough shit.
    Lh718 and whatchyagonnado like this.
  22. megatron

    megatron Wordsmith

    There are no guarantees of course, but given her still somewhat precarious health since she just got out of the hospital, I’d definitely stay firm on this one. This, at least for right now, is something you can do to try to help her get over this bump in her health without worrying about subjecting her to extra germs.
    Lucyinthesky, Lh718 and Kimmers like this.
  23. nym711

    nym711 THIS IS MY LIFE NOW

    Nope, nope, nope. I wouldn't let them near my 19 month old toddler if I could help it.
  24. A. Ham

    A. Ham Chicken

    Oh hell no. They are the ones being extremely unreasonable.
  25. allmaple

    allmaple Chicken

    I feel like no vaccines = not coming near the newborn is a pretty universal rule. Especially with a premie that just got out of the hospital. It’s no surprise the anti vax aunt thinks it’s NBD but N’s dad shouldn’t be guilting you into letting Typhoid Mary anywhere near a newborn.

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